I'm not sure how to review this novel. This is one thick book and it took me a long time to finish it.at times I though I wouldn't get through it, I was tempted to dnf a few times, but I am glad I didn't because the ending was beautiful.
It's complex and descriptive and extremely well-written, with an evocative air and a deeper melancholic feeling.

It's not a romance per se, but love is what this book is about in a way. Self-love and the love - or lack of it - we can endure and accept.

We follow Brandon while he reminisces about his life through flashbacks to important events that explain why he is the way he is at 40. From his homophobic family, his first experiences with same-sex attraction and rejections, his drug-fueled rave days in which he wanted to belong and forget, his failed relationships that have damaged him to the point of not being able to trust in himself, we learn the pieces that construct Brandon, jagged edges and all. And then he meets Matti, who is there for him, unconditionally. Will he be able to accept he can be loved, without his past and pain getting in the way?

This book was a deep character study, a nostalgic trip down Brandon's memory lane, but it also was a book about healing, about being in your forties and being dragged down by your life experiences but fighting to keep afloat, about found family and queer spaces, about trusting love -love for yourself and for others.

It took a while fro Brandon to grow in me. He wasn't my favourite character at first, he was a bit dry and disenchanted, had built a wall around himself. But little by little, I got to learn about his life and I understood. I saw myself in him. I'm also in my forties and, while I've never been a raver, I have tried to find myself out partying. I also miss the days when anything was possible and belonging wasn't as hard. Matti also helps mellow him out a bit. Matti reminded me of my partner, steady and understanding and offering a safe space to heal. But only if one is willing to do the work. It could have been easy for Brandon to close himself of forever. He'd be justified. But the message is clear: do not let your past taint your present and future to the point where you don't allow yourself to feel and be happy.

Amazing debut.contemporary contemporary-romance lgbtqia6 s Nicole FiorinaAuthor 11 books2,827

I don't believe this is a debut? The writing is amazing in this beautiful AND SPICY story of a man on a journey to find love, while he also reminisces past relationships and how he learns to trust again. Bravo!

6 s David Cottington208

“He could have been tied up in a dungeon somewhere with someone's arm halfway up his ass or sitting quietly in his condo knitting a scarf. People surprised me with how they behaved when they thought no one was looking”

Soooo I only read spicy books now and this was pretty spicy!

As a 30 something year old gay man this felt pretty familiar - reminiscing about the good old days and settling into the next chapter of your life without drugs and random hook-ups.

I did find myself wanting to skip forward to the sexy bits (luckily there were plenty) but I think that was just me being thirsty.

I could have done with a few less anecdotes and little more meat (behave) to the current day plot - the romance felt a little second to the past stories.

Over all I would recommend this as a very hot reading experience!!6 s Allison1 review

This is not your run-of-the-mill, casual romance read and the story is all the better for it! While the book is a romance at heart it is also a deeply personal review of Brandon's (MC) life, past and present. The author provides back story with such attention to detail that you feel as through you are living experiences alongside Brandon. Given that, I can't say I sped through this book - it took some time to read and digest, in the best way. Gay romance books tend to hit heavy with female audiences and, while I feel this book will definitely capture that market, I think it will hit home so acutely for gay men who grew up in the 80s and 90s. The cultural references breath so much life into the story and create incredible context for the lives depicted. Truly enjoyed this read and cannot stop thinking about these characters!2 s Jordan Fischer | julietfoxreads465

Freaking WOW. I cannot believe When the Lights Come Up is @vance_anthony_author’s debut - it's in impressive bit of writing! This book is SO immersive - you really feel you are living MMC Brandon's life and memories right alongside him. And while this book is about letting go of your past to finally find love, it's about so much more than that. Almost a coming of age story for older adults? I absolutely loved it, and if you want something a little different than your typical romance, THIS IS IT.

Brandon is nearing 40, and he's completely jaded about love. He's been hurt in relationships throughout his life, and he's been so involved in hookup culture for so long he isn't really sure how to go about finding a more meaningful connection. When he runs into Matti and his dog on a walk, he immediately senses that things could be different with him. Matti seems the perfect guy, and Brandon has never felt so smitten. However, is Brandon truly ready to move on from his past to trust Matti with his heart?

While the main plot in When the Lights Come Up is about Brandon and Matti in the present, the book has a TON of backstory about Brandon's life going back to his childhood, meandering through his adolescence as a club kid, and his relationships as an adult. These asides do a lot to explain his motivations for seeking love and the trajectory of his relationship with Matti. It is so vivid and descriptive that it feels a memoir - the bulk of the emphasis is on Brandon's growth as a person rather than the romance. That said, I LOVED how his story with Matti progressed, even though there were bumps along the way. And OMG, Vance can really write beautiful spice - for being such a substantive book, I was almost surprised by how spicy it was overall.

Y'all, I'm a sucker for ANY book set in Atlanta - I was over here scrolling around Google Maps to see how far away locations in the story were from my house haha. So freaking cool, and I'm so excited to have had the chance to read this wonderful local(ish) author’s work. Congratulations on a beautiful first novel Vance - I can't wait to see what's next!1 Fay MMBookworm2,738 39 Read

A debut novel with a difference.
This is written in first person with Brandon’s view with the story of his and Matti’s romance.
Brandon navigates around a toxic Ex boyfriend, Nate and life situations.
The story had time jumps from each period in time that I wasn't my favorite in a book, this one starting off in 2016.

#GRRarc2024 m-m1 K.C. Elle11

The author is really quite gifted at writing—I highlighted SO many passages just because the prose was so beautiful or evocative or poignant or all of the above. There were some things that really hit home for me in that pensive, reminiscent way.

I suppose everyone has that time in their life, those golden years they just can’t let go of. They were in their prime. They thrived. The stars were aligned even if they didn’t realize it. The nights were long, and the days didn’t matter.

There had to be something better out there. In fact, I knew there was. But I couldn’t make myself believe I was worth anyone’s goodness anymore.

What was really amazing to me were the gorgeous and detailed descriptions of the clubbing scenes—because I was not that person when I was younger. I was a bit of a sheltered introvert goodie two shoes, if you will, but Vance really had a way with words that let me be immersed in the scene with the MC.

The way the author describes that feeling when—well, I'll just put a few quotes here:

It had been a while since I’d gotten off, at least a week since I’d experienced the intense yet hollow release of a self-inflicted orgasm.

My sex drive had diminished, decreased in intensity, but the fantasies that made me desire love and sex and intimacy had been piquing.

Besides, there was always infatuation, obsession, desire, and longing from a distance, the unrequited variant of love I was used to. It drained me emotionally but required no social effort.

These ones really tugged at my heart. Gahh!

The tagline for the book is A steamy, slow-burning coming-of-age romance cloaked in memoir. And I would say this holds true! Though it's where my review gets a bit sad because I am very much not in my memoir era anymore, and because it was so very memoir-y, I couldn't finish reading the book. I do want to someday! But my brain is just not there for memoirs right now.

I'll end with some gorgeous quotes that I loved for helping immerse me in the setting/scene:

It was Saturday, and the unforgiving heat of late spring was slowly giving way to the oppressive swelter of an early Atlanta summer. That torrid sultriness would last for months when it finally settled in, only giving reprieve by way of occasional rain showers.

The clear sky had turned that impossible-to-replicate shade of blue between steel and sapphire, a few dim twinkles of light peeking through the curtain above, waiting for their cue to approach center stage.

I hope I'll get back to this someday! Either way, I'll be eager to read whatever Vance comes up with next!arc own-voices1 JJs Nooks & Crannies14 8

It’s hard to believe that ‘Vance Anthony’s debut novel’ is his first foray into the literary world. His writing style is so captivating that it leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

‘Vance Anthony’s debut novel’ is a coming-of-age story that delves into a world we often don’t get to read about. It’s a world where partying, alcohol, drugs, and hookups are the norm, but the fun is often overshadowed by the pain and hurt that follow.

Vance wrote a beautiful story about Brandon and Matti’s love over years of challenges and life getting in the way.
Brandon is now at a stage in his life where he wants to leave all the partying behind and finally move on from a toxic ex who caused more damage than he’s willing to admit. Brandon is a successful business owner, has his own home and has the best friendship with his puppy, Maestro. (Did I mention the puppies? there are loads, lol) But Brandon is feeling lost. He wants more, and he wants companionship and love everyone else.

So we walk down memory lane with Brandon and gain a deep insight into his pain and hurt from the past; with that walk, we gain much more understanding of the fear holding Brandon back from pursuing a relationship with Matti. With ups and downs, perseverance, and support from his friends, Brandon finds his solution and finally begins to heal his wounds from the past. He finds a family right in front of him and the love that he deserves.

This is a wonderful story of healing and love; we can all relate to the reality that hits us “when the lights come up” in our own lives.

Favourite Quote/Passage

“Tell me what you see, Brandon.”
“I see the stars. I see the world.”
“And what do you feel?”
“Insignificant.”
“Yes. But you’re not. Not to me. And when I look at you, Brandon, I see the world. I see it in your eyes, in your face, in your hands.” He grabbed my hand from the table and held it in between his palms, gently stroking the top of my thumb with the rough skin of his. I didn’t pull away. His flesh was warm, but his touch was cold. Maybe I imagined it. It never had been before. “To me, you glow. I see the sun and the moon and the trees.” He paused, trying to think. “And the stars, Brandon.”

“Those long nights of dancing that you speak so fondly about, they always end. And when the lights come up at the end of the night, you start to see that it was all an illusion, a wonderful dream that cannot last. They are a dream and nothing more. But this? What we have? This is real. This could last. I know that you want this. I see it in your eyes. Please, Brandon, let me love you.” Tara BennettAuthor 2 books10

Brandon has been perfectly happy with his dog, condo, and business for the last several years, but something keeps telling him he should want more—maybe he actually does want more. After being hurt—betrayed—several times, he realizes that hookups are easier and that emotions are hard and damaging. If someone special comes along, maybe, but overcoming the past might just be too much for him and anybody he gets involved with since he has been taught people lie, cheat, and hurt. Mattie sees the world differently, and maybe he would be the one to change things, but then again, maybe he isn't.

OPINION: Vance takes you down a long winding path, making sure you are completely immersed in the story; you genuinely understand the damage, the pain, and the source of those things. Written in first person, you genuinely see the world from Bandon’s point of view and understand what he is going through; this is a nice change from the dual POV typically found in this genre. This story reads a novel with rich detailed imagery taking you into Brandon’s past, into the source of his pain.


Brandon is damaged, and you know why as the story goes on, you see how this makes him the man he is, and you feel the hurt when everything falls apart. If this is indeed a memoir, my heart hurts for Brandon's betrayal and lies written on the slate of the person they are, and it’s created a lot of broken pieces. In between all the details, there was a wonderful story about a man just trying not to be alone in spite of the past. He is surrounded by friends who have his back and are trying to align his past and his present. I am not embarrassed to admit this hit me right in the feels as Brandon worked through his shit. I feel some of the details from the club days were unnecessary as they didn’t particularly immerse me in the story; the interaction between the characters, however, was wonderful, and I couldn’t get enough.


It may be a little long, but if you approach it as an MM Novel with some romance involved, you will find a winner in this story. It’s worth the read because there is a wonderful story here. I say take the time to give this a read; you won’t be disappointed with the overall story.


Also, the addition of Hugo and Maestro—they are a delight.



SPICE: There are only a few spicy scenes in this book and they are very intimate and loving.arc mmromance-review Babara-Anne1,350 15

MEMORIES! SO MUCH MEMORIES!
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