I'm conflicted about this book. It started off very strong. I felt the examples of what an Anxious Heart is were clear and helpful.
The actual advice, however, was a bit up and down. I'm used to books bringing up topics and suggesting to get specific guidance on that topic elsewhere. However, it felt that was a common tactic. Topics that I wish were explored with depth and substance were sometimes tackled in just a few paragraphs.
The suggested homework was most often very helpful - and this is coming from someone who often rolls their eyes at suggested activities. However, it sometimes felt the suggestion was to put the book down for a couple months and work on one aspect of your life – exercise? making and nourishing friendships? – and sometimes before you moved into the kind of internal work that I think most of us picked this book up for.
The end of the book reads a rush. Anecdotes laid out earlier in the book were sometimes repeated. It sometimes felt filler – personal reflections – more than guidance. I preordered this on Kindle, and the formatting was clearly rushed. It feels this book was pushed out to meet deadlines rather than handled with careful editing.
The author is clearly not a professional self-help writer. And the casual, conversational tone was honestly refreshing. But I felt this book needed a co-author or research assistant to bring more meat to the bones.9 s1 comment Izzy Schechter9 3

Ate DOWNNNNNN I gotta admit it…5 s1 comment Fake Gyllen81 Read

0/10, did not immediately heal my anxious attachment style.2023-books4 s Kate2

Loved loved loved, what a book. What I really d about this was the no bullshit approach. I felt very validated and understood by the author but also called out on my own destructive behaviours in a way that was both empathetic and assertive. She empathises with the readers who identify as anxious attachers without coddling you or making you feel you can’t heal with some much needed hard work.

I usually hate the term ???this opened my eyes to so many possibilities” or anything along those lines but this book really has changed my perspective on a lot of things to do with relationships (not just romantic). Even if you don’t identify as someone with anxious attachment, it’s very informative and well written, and offers an abundance of tools and reading materials that can just help anyone interested in general education about attachment styles. 3 s Rachel21

I would caution the reader to have discernment when reading this book. While it offers common sense advice as well as a look at attachment disorder as it pertains to relationships I find the mix of psychology, eastern meditation, and vibe-ology to be adding fuel to the fire of relational issues. Please read with a weather eye to the pitfalls of these “coping” and “enhancing” practices. They often bring with them a whole host of problems of their own.

2 s Nora10

Must read! I thought I knew quite much about anxious attachment already but this book taught me a lot of new things. It’s compact and straightforward. No unnecessary stuff others mentioned.
I‘ll go back to this book many times. Especially the last pages are encouraging! 1 Alyssa Lane248 17

I really d this- it was short, easy to read and follow, and accessible. But mostly I appreciated that instead of getting really deep into the attachment theory jargon and psycho analyzing, this book chooses to focus more on simple suggestions you can immediately start to do and implement right away that will help with your anxiety. I picked this up at the start of a rough time, and practical advice that I could work with right now was exactly what I was looking for. 1 Kelly1 review1 follower

Great read! Author is a friend presenting information in an approachable and non intimidating way. It isn’t a super deep dive into attachment theory, but it isn’t geared toward that. It provides helpful summaries and exercises that are applicable. It also gives recommendations for more material if you do want to nerd out, quite a few are now on my reading list. I wish I had this 10 years ago- when someone offered me a lengthy attachment theory book and I said no- this one would have been much easier to say yes to! 1 Paolapass08gnail.Com34 1 follower

1,000,000 stars

Wow what An amazing book. I have read it from beginning to end. I bought every one of the books she recommend and also bought the journal. Thank you so much for your amazing work. 1 Rachel1 review

Are you anxiously attached or lean that way? Then this is the book for you! There has been a few books out there so far written specifically for people with anxious attachment, but this is a must read for people with anxious attachment. In my opinion, it is the best one I have read on it.

I'm a fearful avoidant that leans heavily anxious and this book was an absolute life changer for me, and I highly recommend this book! This book actually shows you how to overcome your anxious attachment to a more secure attachment style.

The author is compassionate, but also gives you a dose of tough love, but this is done well. It talks about anxious attachment, explains what it is, and also talks about other attachment styles, it has chapters that teach you how to build a more secure attachment, by building a support group, engaging in hobbies you enjoy, learning how to speak up about your needs and communicate in a healthy way, building self esteem, dating, etc.

I also loved that this book was compassionate and loving towards those with avoidant attachment styles, either dismissive or fearful. This is not shown much in attachment theory books, but I was so happy that this book was compassionate towards those with avoidant attachment styles, because they are human too, and don't deserve to be hated.

In my opinion this is the better version of the book, "Attached". I prefer this book much more over Attached.

The only flaw this book had was it didn't talk much about my attachment style, the fearful avoidant, and I wish it had a signs checklist the other three attachment styles had. This flaw was a small one though, but all books have flaws.

I loved this book so much, and it is one I'd read over and over again! I am looking forward to her next book! Kate7

WOW. EVERYONE needs to read this—ESPECIALLY anxious attachers who are serious about healing and getting out of unhealthy patterns in their relationships. I absolutely loved this book. I told my therapist about it because I want her to recommend it to her other clients (hopefully that isn’t professional boundary crossing
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