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''I wish I could be saved''

Safety warnings:
- H 32 / h 22
- No cheating
- No OW/OM drama
- Violence/torture/d*ath
- Child abandonment/neglect
- Human/drug trafficking
- Drug use
- Su*cidal thoughts/ideation
- Mention of su*cide
- Mention of r*pe/assault
- Kidnapping
- HEA

SPOILERS BELOW ??

SPOILERS BELOW ??

SPOILERS BELOW ??

SPOILERS BELOW ??

This is a heavy book and it's filled with disgusting humans who believe themselves to be gods amongst the broken and lost.

I didn't know what to expect from this book, I truly did not see a lot of the plot coming. I knew it was an MC romance, age gap and dark but I was shocked to read and find out how deeply dark this was. It's not to say it's bad because obviously I did not think so with my 4.25-star rating. It's just heavy and it drained me after I was finished.

One of the cool things about this MC though, is the fact none of them besides the president knows the sins they have committed. We also have some guys hiding behind either hoodie, masks etc. They never see their face, it's a mystery. Their life before was unknown and I am so excited to read their stories to find out more!

Once you read this book then you will understand the meaning of the quote I placed in my review. We meet the two main characters, and they are both dealing with grief and loss. Nyla is struggling to move past her grandmother’s death after she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s years ago and Nyla took care of her, while Mitchell is dealing with his younger sister and mothers’ death over a decade ago.

Their chance encounter starts this chain of events I think nobody will see coming. There are obvious hints about who the main villain in this book is and you will know it before any of these characters do. The reveals and realization that everything we have learned from Nyla's POV is a lie and not trustworthy was shocking.

You see Nyla's father raised her with his mother when she was left on the doorstep, Nyla though we find out was conditioned from birth to never ask questions, to obey and be obedient.

Why?

Vincent aka her father is the man behind the Utah operations for a group called ''The Flock''. They kidnap women and children and sell them off. It's tragic and the more we find out the more heartbreaking it gets.

Nyla never knew, she again with her conditioning never questions her fathers ''business'' nor did she ever see anything past her rose colored glasses concerning him and her grandmother and even her uncle.

These people though were all in on it, her ''grandmother'' was not that at all, she was a woman who would use Nyla to lure in women and their children to ''safety'' but then sell them off and they would forever disappear. It's just disturbing how everything Nyla ever knew was lies.

Her father isn't even her father, she was kidnapped and if she ever crossed the line she would of been sold off as well.

Listen, this book is hard to describe as I would be writing an entire thesis to talk about everything but in reality it's best to read it yourself, but I will discuss other small bits of this book next:

Nyla and Mitchell start off their relationship and eventually sleep together which causes her ''father'' to hate her and this shocks her (but we find out he was planning on selling her and her virginity).

Mitchell though is keeping a massive secret and betrays Nyla with it. He is part of an MC group who is trying to do right by their sins and be ''saved''.

Saved in their world means for their life to end (by suicide) once they have atoned for their sins.

Mitchell's sin? He was a drug user (heroin) and was high the night his mother/sister were gunned down. He was supposed to pick them up after a movie and they died instead since he was getting high somewhere and forgot.

Now this is something we need to discuss, this is the first time I think that a MMC is an actual drug user for me, actively. He relapses mid-way through this book and goes on a bender for days and disappears. He actively struggles with his addiction and despite the years of sobriety he loses the battle.

Thankfully he has a support system and is able to go to meetings and rehab to help him. This entire part shocked me. The scene where Nyla finds him and he is about to inject himself is heartbreaking, she did not know about this part of him, and he just wants to die tbh.

Her presence in his life creates a newfound reason to live and survive. To protect her has become his new mission.

Another reveal? Darrell the President is her biological father and use to be childhood best friends with Volt who happens to be Vincent (you see Vincent was a code word for his world to know to never speak of the trafficking mission). He kidnapped Nyla to destroy Darrell because her mother was someone he loved but she chose Darrell.

Darrell was also into drugs when he was younger and the girl he was with Courtney another drug addict was pregnant at 17, he tried his best to do right but Courtney relapsed, and the baby ends up being born with a heroin addiction prompting Courtney to leave and Darrell to be forced to make the decision to have her put up for adoption.

Another reveal: Vincent was the reason Mitchell’s mother and sister died.
Thankfully Vincent DIES and we get that ending but The Flock is still out there, and they are led by someone that even Vincent was scared of…so this plot point is still very much active and possibly the full series plot.

I SAID THIS BOOK WAS SHOCKING.

One final thing:

The side characters that will get books (well we only have one book confirmed for December, but I am hoping for the rest to actually happen)

- Sarge and Joslyn (the next book! - she is deaf, and he is always wearing a hoodie hiding his face, he is scarred and was in the army. They have an interested relationship we kept seeing in this book)
- V and Oakley (stalker romance as he is obsessed and everyone says he is scary, while Oakley is the daughter of another MC member, and she is dealing with something that happened to her years ago that makes her scared of men)
- Darrell and Victoria (longing romance? something happened between them, and we all know they each have a thing for each other)
- Libby and the guy whose ring she wear (her husband was part of the MC until he killed himself but the ring she wears is not his, but another mans).age-gap dark-heavy-themes dark-romance ...more42 s1 comment Heather34

Spoilers in this review

Ok so let me start of by saying I'm so upset that I didn't this book. I recived sins of betrayal as an arc and I just couldn't get into it. It took me 2 weeks to finish and I'm a book a day kinda girl.i found the book very repetitive to the point it kept giving us the same information but never expanding on it so we didnt understand what was happening untill the very end. The twists were pretty predictable and i found the main characters unable. The repetition of they were a club bound together by there sins but never explaining what sins were that bad they had to be punished for them were, got old fast. Yes in the end u did get to find out what 2 members of the clubs sins were but it was to late by that point id lost interest. If your gonna talk about the sins and repenting so much we need to know what were repenting for. I can only give a book so much leeway. These men have apaerntly known eachother of many years they are as close as brothers yet none of them know what eachothers sins are, none of them knew one character has a whole family or another one had a child. Then you have one character that no one has ever seen without a mask and another who no one has ever seen his face
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