EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL.

You will cry, because this is VERY sad.

So a discussion occurred in my head after I rated the book.

A voice in my head: Come on. You can't post that on Goodreads.

Me: *glares* Why not?

A voice in my head (aka VH): Please, don't. You will ruin your reputation.

Me: *weary* Not that again.

VH: Well, it's true. You can't post that. It's just not okay. Do you have any idea how popular this book is? Hint : YOU CAN'T EVEN GUESS.

Me: Why should I care? Maybe some people think me.

VH: You don't understand. It's not just random book that you can critize you do all the time and just get away with it. This is THE FAULT IN OUR STARS. And it's John Green. Believe me, you do NOT want to get in the way of those crazy fans, nerdfighters or whatever it is they call themselves.

Me: Really, what the fuck do I care? I want to give this 3 stars. It's not I'm giving it 1 star or something.

VH: But why would you even do that in the first place? EVERYONE, and I do mean EVERYONE in your friend list gave it 5 stars. And they used so many sobbing gifs! Really, it made me cry a little just looking at them.

Me: *stares*

VH: It won the Goodreads award for best YA!

Me: So? Fifty Shades won Best Romance.

VH: It's got one of the highest general ratings for a book on Goodreads!

Me: Nobody but the Goodreads community actually cares. And wait. I'm not even sure the Goodreads community actually cares. I know I don't.

VH: You're such a cold-hearted bitch. Why would you give it only 3 stars anyway? Don't you have a heart? And why 3 stars? I know you really loved the book, deep down!

Me: I didn't. I mean, I d it, it was okay... but I didn't love it. It's... I mean... Oh, fuck it. It's overrated. There! I said it. Sue me.

VH: *seethes* You did NOT just say that.

Me : I did. Because it is! Come on, did you read the dialogues in this? Can we talk about the dialogues? I want to talk about the dialogues.

VH: *crosses arms* Go ahead. I want examples.

Me: Fine. I'll start with the popular quotes. You know what I'm talking about. The quotes which are totally overrated and everyone loves them and they create pics and stuff when really, if you think about the quote in itself.. Well, you realize that it just, you know, sucks.

VH: *mumbles* How 'bout: you suck?

Me: What was that? Actually, forget it, I don't give a shit. Listen to this! “My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”
VH: So? It's beautiful.

Me: Well...*tries really hard to refrain from laughing* I mean... Seriously? ... *fails miserably* HAHAHAHA how more pretentious can you get? Comparing your thoughts to stars? REALLY?

VH: You're so shallow. Some of us have deep thoughts, you know. , thoughts so deep they actually deserve to be compared to the firmament. I don't even want to explain to you how poetic this is, because I'd waste my time.

Me: Save yourself the effort, I don't mind. And I've got another example. Probably my favorite.
"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt."
VH: What now? You're gonna say that it's so pretentious it made you cry?

Me: Precisely. *nods wisely* Because that's the thing about tears. They demand to be wet. Or that's the thing about food. It demands to be eaten. Or that's the thing about...

VH: SHUT UP, I get it! There's no discussion with you. How am I supposed to discuss with someone who's got the intellectual depth of an empty oyster?

Me: But come on, I'm not finished yet. What about Augustus and his unlit cigarette?
“They don’t kill you unless you light them,” he said. “And I’ve never lit one. It’s a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.”
Me: Is this supposed to be smart? This is pathetic. It's terrible, it's not funny, and it's not deep.

VH: *hisses* It's a metaphor!

Me: I know!
“It’s a metaphor,” I said, dubious.
“It’s a metaphor,” he said.
“You choose your behaviors based on their metaphorical resonances...” I said.
“Oh, yes.” He smiled. “I’m a big believer in metaphor, Hazel Grace.”
Me: Can you say metaphor again? Say metaphor one more time! Go ahead, say it, I think John Green hasn't totally forced it down my throat yet! *hysterical yelling* LET'S SAY IT AGAIN! Metaphor! Everything is a METAPHOR!

VH: What's your point, you freak?

Me: My point is, the dialogues are horrible. It made my eyes burn. It's pretentious and unbelievable, AND besides, you can totally see that John Green loves the characters.

VH: What author doesn't the characters of their own book?

Me: It's not the same! With John Green... It's he adores himself. I bet you anything he re-reads his own books. Just to see exactly how awesome they are.

VH: What? You don't know that. You cannot possibly say that. How dare you talk about him you know him.

Me: You know, in the audio version of The Fault in Our Stars, at the end, there's an interview with him. And he explicitly says that he just LOVES listening to the audio versions of his books. So there.

VH: What? No. You're wrong. He doesn't mean, , he loves it when someone reads him his own books. That's not what he meant AT ALL. It's a misunderstanding. What he meant was, he loves listening to the.. the.. reading lady. Because she has such a sweet voice and everything.

Me: Are you kidding me? He's in love with himself! Augustus is just an hologram. An empty shell. Seriously, his monologues are laughable. I couldn't even focus. I kept thinking of John Green while reading. Because Augustus is just SO witty, so smart, so perfect. *cough cough* wish fulfillment hello.

VH: I am so not convinced.

Me: There's this whole repetition thing, too. I cannot believe how all the characters of his books look a. How come it works every SINGLE time? How many books are out there, now? 4? 5? More, surely. It's always the SAME THING. Geeky and nerdy narrator, geekier and nerdier sidekick, mysterious but unbelievable girl, random plot that doesn't even make sense, road trip. Come the fuck on. You know what? The fact that people aren't getting tired of him and his stupid same characters is the real question.

VH: But this book is unique. The way it deals with cancer and death... It's so beautiful. You cannot possibly say it isn't.

Me: That's what disturbed me the most. Look. What I want to say is, not every death is glorious. Not every death is epic and not every death will glow a star in the eternal twilight sky. Most of the time, deaths are random, plain, and the world is cold and uncaring, and that's how it is. And that's what's terrible. You don't need to be a hero, you don't need to defy death the way Augustus pretends to, you don't need to lose yourself in unbelievable speeches to have people cry over your death. The book is just TOO much.

VH: You know, about them being unbelievable when they talk? You seem to forget something. Augustus and Hazel ARE different. They're unique, so they talk different. That's what it's all about.

Me: They're not different, they don't exist. They can't exist. Honestly? I don't think this was a good tribute to the kids who are really sick. Because no one talks that, NO ONE, and I feel now there's this messed-up hierarchy between the sick kids who are sort of smart ass and those who aren't. And I refuse that. I can't accept that. Being ironic, jaded, detached and all metaphorical over the disease is a luxury that genuinely sick teenagers cannot afford. So fuck this. And I'd rather kneel before a kid who has cancer and who doesn't know what a metaphor is than shed a tear over one of Augustus's stupid monologues.

VH: You liar, I know you cried while you read the book. You were a sobbing mess.

Me: I wasn't. I was a sobbing mess at the end of Before I Die. And oh my God, I couldn't even speak after I finished A Monster Calls because I was crying so hard. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl had me in tears, too. These are all gorgeous books that deal with cancer. And I cried a bitch every single time, and they broke my heart. But this? I didn't cry.

VH: You did, and you know it. Especially at THIS special moment.

Me: *looks away* I don't know what you're talking about.

VH : You cried when Hazel asked her mom if she would still be a mom after her death.

Me: Fine, okay. I cried. I know. Okay? I know. But look. That's precisely the point. That's what I call emotional blackmail. Because I DARE YOU not to cry over that discussion. Because it's a universal fear! Whether you're a mom, or a daughter, or both, if you have a sister even, you must have thought about that already and told yourself : Okay, if I die, or if she dies. Who will I be? If my sister dies and I'm asked whether I have a sibling, what should I say? Am I still a sister because she existed, once? Or if you have a child, and then one day your baby dies. What happens then? Are you still a parent? Are you still a parent because once, you used to be a parent, and because there's a room upstairs that used to be your child's? I dare you to think about it and not end up crying. I took it as a betrayal from John Green because I feel he didn't play fair. OF COURSE talking about a child's death in this peculiar way will make the reader cry! But it's so easy. It doesn't require any talent. Just ask anyone to talk about that and they'll be tearing up in 5 seconds! Do you understand what I'm trying to say? I feel he was , "I'm gonna make them cry." and all the while I was reading I swear I could hear him: "ARE YOU SAD YET? ARE YOU HEARTBROKEN YET? DO YOU SEE HOW INCREDIBLY UPSETTING MY STORY IS? I KNOW, RIGHT. I AMAZE MYSELF SOMETIMES."

VH: But--

Me: No, look. Writing that, it's not incredible, it's not magical and it's not valuable. It's playing with people's weaknesses. It's manipulating people into crying. And I can't respect him with that the way I respect people who manage to make me cry without using such poor plot devices. in, Me and Earl and The Dying Girl. There's a cancer book that really took me by surprise. Because, Rachel, the sick girl, is everything but admirable. She's young, a bit shallow, nice, shy, plain, normal, really. And her neighbor who befriends her, he doesn't fall in love with her. And her death won't be remembered something that scarred humanity, because it didn't. Ultimately, it didn't even matter at all. And I could relate more easily to that, to the meaningless dimension of her death, to the emptiness of it all, more than I could ever relate to the ridiculous speeches of Augustus (and Hazel's too, for that matter). Because you know what bothered me, too? They're indistinct.

VH: That's because they're soul mates. That's the whole point of the book. They found themselves in each other.

Me: It doesn't work to say they're soul mates. Look, I read the book almost a year ago, I think. And this:
“I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”
Me: This is beautiful, granted. It's also unrealistic that a teenager would ever say that, let alone improvize it, but whatever, it's pretty. But the thing is, I am completely unable to say whether it's Augustus or Hazel who says that. I don't know. I have no idea. I try to recognize the style, but I can't tell, BECAUSE THEY TALK EXACTLY THE SAME.

VH: ...

Me: So yeah. I didn't love the book, and I am not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things; I didn't love the book, and I know this review might be just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed to another John Green book about an unbelievable loser and his even more loser sidekick loving an unbelievable teenage girl, and that there will come a day when maybe he will change his writing formula, and maybe that'll come when the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, but then it'll be too late, so who cares? I didn't love this book.

VH: *suspiciously silent*

Me: Are we done?

VH: FINE. Ugh. Okay. *Waves white flag* I surrender.

Me: Yes! *clicks "save review"*
awesome-parent beautiful-ending death ...more2,787 s8 comments A58 1,496

Update (25/06/2014)-
Since I've been receiving a lot of cyber bullies and hate messages, I’m going to clarify few things.

-Firstly, this is a negative review of the book and it has got a lot of potential to infuriate the fans. If you think that your opinion is the only opinion that exists on earth and that no one should dis your favourite book, then I would suggest you to avoid this review.

-Stop harassing me. Why can't you get it through your thick skulls that everyone has different opinions, they’re going to interpret books differently from you and stop being selfish to think that just because you loved a book that means the whole world should love it. This world is full of people with differing opinions, differing thoughts and differing s and differing diss, learn to respect them even if you don’t agree with what they have to say about your favourite books. Just because you love a particular book that I hate doesn't make you a good person and me a bad person, It simply shows that people different things.

Every reader has the freedom to dissect and critically analyse any book and write their thoughts on it in their own review space without the fear of anyone (or fans bossing them into writing what the fandom wants). Critically analysing books and criticising problematic aspects of any reading material prevents people from being passive readers.Shakespeare and J.K Rowling too have their own share of critics then what makes Green’s book flawless that it’s not allowed to be criticised?

-Stop cyber bullying and trolling me. Your hate messages and death threats will show much more of your personality than your love for this book. Remember, every time you comment any bullshit here, you’re giving your own fandom a bad name and my review more popularity. Also, your hate messages aren't going to put me down. I’m a strong girl and I’m always going to stand up for what I believe in come hell or high water. I don't fear anyone and no one can ever force me to follow their orders a puppet especially not a fandom where most of the fans are immature cyber bullies who can’t respect other’s opinions. Also, I've caught fans making fake accounts to troll my review, this shows me that they are big cowards who hide their faces and send me spiteful comments.

-Lastly, I’m NOT shaming anyone for loving this book. You can love whatever you want to and believe in whomever you want to. I have no problem with people who genuinely love this book; I have problems with those who think readers should not have the rights to express their dis for any book, I have problems with those who approve of and participate in cyber bullying reviewers who write negative on their favourite books, I have problems with those who refuse to acknowledge the fact that their favourite books can have flaws and not everyone’s going to love them, I have problems with those who come here to shove their opinions down my throat. Do you find anyone who hated this book shoving their opinions in comments of positive ? Then what makes you think that you have the rights to troll negative ?

Alright, now let's begin with the review.
**WARNING- MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD**

EXPECTATION-







REALITY-






So I happily bought the hardcover of The Fault in our stars back in December 2012 after seeing the high average GR ratings and raving saying how beautiful, life-changing, thought-provoking and blah blah it is. Surprisingly, this book was so special that it became the first book that I slammed on the wall twice after reading it. It didn’t only disappoint me but also angered me. I'm surprised to find that harsh critics are swallowing up this trash and calling it a masterpiece. Ugh!

I’m going to make a list of everything I hate about this book that earned it the topmost place on my list of Worst books ever.

The characters- Hazel and Augustus are the flattest cardboard cut-outs I have ever seen in any book. Both of them were 60-years-old stuck in some teenager's bodies making them very boring and unlikable. Hazel was such an annoying, stupid and pretentious Mary Sue that I wanted to punch her right in the face. One great example of her stupidity-

”Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods..., why don’t we have curry for breakfast?”

"A nonhot boy stares at you relentlessly and it is, at best, awkward and, at worst, a form of assault.
But a hot boy . . . well."

Augustus and Hazel have the same boring, pretentious, know-it-all and indistinguishable personality. Hazel is the female version of Augustus (no, I’m not going to call him affectionately with Gus) and he is the male version of Hazel. These two characters meld together and have no depth at all. I couldn’t connect with them, I felt no pain and sympathy for them and they annoyed me so much that I wanted to stab them.

Romance- It fell from the sky. Seriously, I don’t get what’s so “beautiful” about the relationship between them. They both fall in love within seconds just after laying eyes on each other ~love at first sight~ . The romance is undeveloped and it comes from nowhere. I was baffled when Hazel accepted to go to Augustus's house just minutes after meeting him. WHAT THE HELL? How stupid can you be? You fall for a guy's words whom you met just few minutes ago and agree to go to his house! What if he were a murderer or rapist?

Not to mention that the kissing scene in Anne Frank's house was so effing disgusting. Anne Frank's house is considered to be a place of remembrance, a place where 2 families hid during the dark days of Holocaust. If anyone makes out at such a revered site, they would be kicked out regardless of who or what they are. People present around will be disgusted, they won't stand and watch much less clap for the "lovely" couple.

Writing- Cheesy. Emotionless. Terrible. Want to hear some favourite quotes of mine?

“My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.”...Why compare your thoughts to stars and constellations? *sighs*

"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities."



"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt."...Yeah, that’s the thing about chocolate, it demands to be eaten.

”I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.”




“There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything. There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you. Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught. Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever.”

Me-


There were senseless dialogues, brain-cell burning metaphors and words thrown around in the book from the dictionary. I’ll stop here because just thinking about them gives me an awful migraine.

And you know what? Teenagers living in the 21st century DON'T speak that. No teen can spontaneously come up with long monologues within seconds. Also, genuinely sick teenagers don’t have the luxury to be so witty and clever every single time. One thing I don't buy is that teens with cancer suddenly become magically wise. They become terrified, confused, depressed and angry. They DON’T magically gain great insight in life and go around puking long monologues about the meaning of life. This book made me roll my eyes in disgust.

(UPDATE- In response to gazillion questions and arguments I've been getting on the paragraphs above, I have written a detailed explanation below)***

Plot- Predictable. Boring. Uninspiring. Put me to sleep. I had to plough through the whole book. Cancer is hard, it's painful but this book didn’t show me that. I couldn’t feel Hazel and Augustus’ struggle against it. I couldn’t feel their pain. TFioS is nothing but a cheesy romance novel.

Me throughout the book-



"He died eight days after his prefuneral"
WHAT THE HELL?? Green tried to make his death sound LIKE HE WENT TO A PARTY LAST WEEK!!!

Ok, so this book made you cry, right? If a book makes you cry it doesn’t mean that it’s a masterpiece. I can understand that you must’ve felt sad and sympathetic for the characters and must’ve cried but considering that this novel is sad and it made you cry doesn’t make it an awesome, life-changing and beautiful story. I cried after reading Allegiant for days but I hated that book with burning passion, it was one of the worst books I ever read.

Before you start calling me a cold-hearted bitch for hating and criticising this book, let me tell you that if you think you have every right to go around fangirling how wonderful this book was then I believe that I have every right to express my hatred for it whether you it or not.

*** I never mentioned or implied that teenagers are illiterate or can't have a large vocabulary, don't accuse me of something I haven't said. I just find it hard to believe that any teen can come up with nonsensical monologues the ones below or think it's appropriate to use them in their conversations-

"I’m awash in the metaphorical resonance of the empty playground in the hospital courtyard”
“That kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphysical resonances of human waste production”. (wtf?!)

It's hard to believe that anyone would talk that in a normal conversation every single time.
I am a teen and I go to high school, I know many other teens of my age who have developed a large vocabulary and have brilliant writing skills. That is simply because they love reading and have developed the habit of learning new words from the dictionary from a very young age. They write amazing poems and honestly, it takes them a lot of time to ponder over and make their metaphors or poems perfect. They obviously cannot open their mouth and spontaneously say
"My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations".

Btw, none of the teenage characters from this book show any interest in reading high literature and poetry (the only book Hazel claims to read is An Imperial Affliction) then what's the reason behind their ability to spew pretentious monologues? They aren't geniuses, they aren't teens who read avidly or analyse high literature and show interest in oratory, existentialist philosophy and poetry. Therefore, it's not plausible for them to speak with profound words. I would believe their monologues had they shown interest in Kant, Sartre, Nietzsche and Heidegger.

Now going over the cigarette metaphor, Augustus buys a pack of cigarettes regularly just so he could put one in his mouth and not light it thus, giving us another stupid dialogue "It's a metaphor. You keep the killing thing between your teeth but don't give it the power to kill you". Funny that he won't kill himself by lighting up the cigarette but will regularly give money to an industry that is the largest cause of cancer thus, promoting the cigarette industry and indirectly killing others. (What a genius!) Not to mention that he mocks Hazel's cancer right on her face and guess her reaction? She's impressed and readily approves of and participants in his metaphor.

There's a lot of difference between being wise and being pretentious and Hazel and Augustus are the latter. I don't buy their dialogues because they are extremely ridiculous and cheesy and no argument by fans and authors can change my opinion because Green makes no effort in making the dialogues IN THE BOOK seem plausible. There's no reason for their large vocabulary and ability to spew long monologues IN THE BOOK. I've read Green's post on Augustus' character being pretentious and imo, he misses the point that his characters are not only pretentious; they are extremely unrealistic as well. Augustus' pretension is not "an intentional flaw", it's simply poor characterisation.

I'm not saying that kids with cancer cannot be intelligent. A lot of fans say that the characters in the book are special and wise because they have cancer and this book tries hard to show that too. I merely said that having cancer does not mean that you can automatically become wise and gain a lot of knowledge.

I couldn't sympathise with the characters and feel their pain. That doesn't mean that I'm cold hearted. It's not my fault that I couldn't get emotionally connected to the characters, it's the authors fault for not writing characters I could sympathise with. It's the author's fault for making shallow, judgemental and annoying characters. It's the his fault for making characters with personality that mocks cancer patients and who show disrespect to millions of people who died in the Holocaust. It's the author's fault for romanticising cancer and using it as a ploy to sell his book. I'm NOT hating people who have cancer, I'm NOT hating the characters because they have cancer. I'm hating them for who they are. I'm hating the book because it's poorly written.

I don't need to have cancer to analyse this book. Having cancer does not mean that you get the rights to say whatever you want to about this book. Every reader whether sick or not has equal rights to analyse and voice their opinions freely on any book.

/end rantannoying-characters are-you-fucking-kidding-me books-i-would-love-to-burn ...more6,444 s15 comments Richa50 1,218

I HATE this book. Absolutely hate it. Not just from the bottom of my heart (which would literally mean my ventricles, and so, no) but with my whole heart. I hate it, hate it, hate it.



I hate the fact that it made me laugh, so hard!
I hate the fact that it made me smile, so much!
I hate the fact that it made me chuckle, so profusely!

I hate the fact that it gifted me with so much Laughter, Smiles and Chuckles when I was expecting to come face to face with tragedy at any moment....it changed my expectations, made me believe in Something which did not happen...or maybe did happen.

I hate the fact that while Hazel Grace fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once , I just fell ...no warning, no time to process the myriad emotions coursing through me, nope, nothing, just a huge endless void-filled fall and then a sudden crash that took my breath away, literally...



I hate the fact that I fell in love with this bound-to-end-in-oblivion, bound-to-end-in-disaster boy who stared with blue blue eyes and put the killing thing right between his teeth, but never gave it the power to do its killing. (Putting a cigarette right between your teeth and never lighting it, yes, that's Augustus Waters for you, people, a guy huge on metaphors and symbolism...that hopeless boy).



I hate the fact that when I least expected it, the story, the words just grabbed me and pulled me in so deep that even the thought of ever resurfacing never entered my mind.



I hate that the fact that right in the middle of my dance in the rain of laughter, dry wit, and humour without any warning, without any lightning as it's precedent, this thunder would stun me, startle me, wipe the smile right off my face, and sober me up, wake me up from the intoxication of the very real yet false jocularity spun by them, a humour which was nothing but human tragedy waiting-to-happen-and-had-already-happened in disguise and then push me back into that rain to dance again.



I hate the fact that I'm not making my much sense right now....that right now my thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations...

And yes, all the hate above is a metaphor, a symbolic word for love... weird, right? But right now I can't bring myself to say that I love this book....I don't, I don't, I don't (yes, I do, I do, I do...)



So, *deep breath*, it's a story of a girl named Hazel Grace Lancaster, a girl diagnosed with thyroid cancer at the age of 13 who's still alive at 16 thanks to a miracle drug which didn't work it's miracle in about 70% of the people but it did work in her.

So, even though her lungs suck at being lungs, she's still alive and well not kicking, but breathing, with difficulty (because remember her lungs suck at being lungs), but breathing nonetheless.

She's been nothing but a terminal case ever since her diagnosis. The doctors are simply finding ways of keeping her alive rather than removing the cancer ridden lungs and replacing it with a new one, because let's face it, her chances of surviving such an operation are next to nothing and why waste a good pair of lungs on a given, bound-to-fail body?

So, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis.



Enter Augustus Waters. He's 17, gorgeous, in remission, and very frankly and much to her surprise interested in her.

It's a match made in Cancer Kid Support Group, in the Literal Heart of Jesus (you'll know what that means when you read the book...you'll laugh, trust me, you will).

He is a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointment in the Department of Having a Voice That Made My Skin Feel More Skin.

He's the unexpected, hot, gorgeous twist in her story...a story which is about to be completely rewritten...





Their story begins with a staring contest...he stares at her...



So she stares back...because let's face it...



(Spoiler Alert: She wins.)

And it progresses into something brilliant, something as bright as the stars, into Something with a capital S....



I hate this book. (This needs indefinite repetitions, I hate it).

I hate the fact that I fell in love with their always. "Okay"





I hate the fact that Hazel Grace took the words right out of my mouth when she said what she said about being a vegetarian...

"I want to minimise the number of deaths I am responsible for,"

and about not knowing what's cool...

"I take a lot of pride in not knowing what's cool."



I hate the fact that I fell in love with this blue-eyed boy who drove horrifically and his cheesy and yet very endearing attempts to be Prince Charming....(but more so with him...the surprised, excited and innocent side of him..)

"May I see you again?" he asked. There was an endearing nervousness in his voice.

I smiled. "Sure."

"Tomorrow?" he asked.

"Patience, grasshopper," I counseled. "You don't want to seem overeager."

"Right, that's why I said tomorrow," he said. "I want to see you again tonight. But I'm willing to wait all night and much of tomorrow."



I hate the fact that Hazel Grace felt a grenade and all she wanted to do was minimise the casualities when (not if but when) she blew up...



I hate the fact that I felt sorry for a lonely swing set...a Desperately Lonely Swing Set Which Needed a Loving Home...or maybe it was simply a Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Which Sought the Butts of Children...and the fact that I absolutely love this sentence....





The Lonely Swing Set...



or maybe Just Vaguely Pedophilic...



And even though I fell in love the way you fall from a cliff or a building, (don't really know how that feels..since I've never done that)..I hate the way she fell in love...







I hate this kiss....because for who so firm that cannot be seduced?

And then we were kissing. My hand let go of the oxygen cart and I reached up for his neck, and he pulled me up by my waist onto my tiptoes. As his parted lips met mine, I started to feel breathless in a new and fascinating way. The space around us evaporated, and for a weird moment I really d my body; this cancer-ruined thing I'd spent years dragging around suddenly seemed worth the struggle, worth the chest tubes and the PICC lines and the ceaseless bodily betrayal of the tumors.



I hate the love letter she wrote him...(Spoiler Alert: It's a Venn diagram love letter.)

I hate the fact that she did not agree with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (in which Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist, claimed that certain needs must be met before you can even have other kinds of needs.) Something this...



Unless and until your needs of the previous level have been fulfilled, you don't even think about the needs of the next level. Of course, all psychological theories this one too cannot be generalized or accepted universally. Because if there is one law in psychology then it is that there is no law in psychology, there is no given universal laws for human behaviour or thoughts or anything. Every theory has it's use and flaws, applicable to some while not applicable to others. And this one is not applicable in this situation. Nope, not at all.

I hate the words, the word play in this book... a quantum entanglement of tubes and bodies....triumphantly digitized contemporaneity....

I hate the fact that it made me laugh so much, smile a lot, fall in love so hard only to exact revenge later on for giving in to the false security of humour and love by making me cry....oh god, cry so much....so much...

Because that's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.

I get it...totally get it...



I hate the fact that I ever read this sentence...

"I lit up a Christmas tree, Hazel Grace..." .

I hate it, I really hate it (forget metaphorical resonances, forget symbolism, I actually hate it).



I hate the fact that it made me cry so much that the lovers of-god-knows-which-century entwined on my pillowcase were drenched in the torrent of my tears and were probably ruing the fact that there was no umbrella during their time.



I hate the fact that I stayed up whole night reading this book, half of the night crying, and even after finishing it I couldn't go to sleep, so the rest of the dawn just pacing in my room with all these haphazard, desultory stars jumping around in my mind finding absolutely no avenue to become constellations.....and my eyes puffy (Note to self: Do not stay up all night or add crying to it if you do to avoid puffy eyes.)



Why do I do this to myself??



And I absolutely hate this...



I hate that this story is stunningly overwhelming, insightful, irreverent, raw and devastating...and to quote Markus Zusak, it's the kind of story reading which "You laugh, you cry and then you come back for more."



Some infinities are bigger than other infinities... ...I'm grateful for having known this little infinity...grateful for this epic love story of two star crossed lovers....



[image error]

I my choices. I hope you yours.



And by hate you know I meant love, right?

I love this book.



Right now, my thoughts are too jumbled up...



2,889 s7 comments Madeline777 47.8k

At age twenty-two, John Green worked as a student chaplain in a children's hospital.

Let's take a moment and consider all the implications of that, and why he is making a colossal understatement when he described the experience as "devastating." That was about twelve years ago, and Green has said in interviews that because of this experience, he's spent twelve years trying to write a book about kids with cancer - not poster children of strength and courage and illness-granted wisdom, but real kids and their families and friends who have to cope with the fact that they will die young.

All novels are personal, but Green's novels seem, to me, to be especially so. But this one is personal in a different way. With this novel, Green isn't trying to exorcize the memory of the girl who stomped on his heart in high school. This goes deeper than high school romance and Manic Pixie Dream Girl angst. This is about life, death, illness, love, heroism, and how a sixteen-year-old is supposed to deal with the fact that she will die and leave everyone she loves behind. Maybe it's just because I've been watching vlogbrothers videos for four years and feel I'm actually acquainted with John Green, but this is the most deeply personal novel I've ever read.

This is not, as Hazel Lancaster might say, a Cancer Book. None of the cancer patients in this story have a wisdom beyond their years, and they do not stoically accept the fact that they will die or fight heroically. Hazel Lancaster, a terminal sixteen-year-old who has to carry an oxygen tank everywhere because "my lungs suck at being lungs" is refreshingly real - not manic, not a pixie, not a dream girl. She reads Great Books and watches America's Next Top Model marathons. Augustus Waters, her amputee friend, wants desperately to leave a lasting impression on the world and philosophizes about heroism, and his favorite book is a novelization of a video game. (can I say how much I love that an author can establish a character's intelligence without telling us that they love reading Austen yes Stephenie Meyer I'm looking at you) Everything here is real, especially the diseases. There isn't any bullshit about dying gracefully here, because cancer is ugly and unpleasant, and Green makes you feel Hazel's lungs struggling to breathe and the pain, and see the vomit and urine. (Remember how in A Walk to Remember, Mandy Moore has been secretly dying of leukemia the whole time but looks great even on her deathbed? Nicholas Sparks can fuck right off for that insult to real cancer patients) Most importantly, Hazel and Augustus are not defined by their cancer. It consumes their lives, but it doesn't define them. On every page, it's clear: this is a story told by someone who hasn't known just one person with cancer, but has seen a multitude of children with terminal diseases, and has tried to find some way to comfort them and their families.

It's for that reason that I don't feel I can review this a normal book. John Green didn't write this story for me, and so I don't feel I have any place saying that it's amazing and beautiful and heartbreaking. And I certainly can't criticize any of its minor faults. All I can say, really, is that you have to read this for yourself, and go from there.

...

Okay, you guys know me better than that. I have one big complaint, which I will describe here, and all I ask is that you remember that I still gave this five stars.

Augustus Waters, in the first few chapters, comes off as a pretentious douche. When Hazel first meets him at a cancer support group, they're talking afterwards and Augustus takes out a cigarette and puts it in his mouth. Hazel, who you'll recall is dying because her lungs cannot function, freaks out: "...even though you HAD FREAKING CANCER you give money to a company in exchange for the chance to acquire YET MORE CANCER." Augustus explains that he doesn't smoke the cigarettes, he just puts them in his mouth (no, really) because "They don't kill you unless you light them...And I've never lit one. It's a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing."

Augustus, I love you, but you're full of shit right there. Notice how he didn't address Hazel's perfectly valid point that, by buying cigarettes, Augustus is giving money to the people who cause cancer? Because here's the thing: you can say to a cigarette company, "I'm buying your cigarettes as a metaphor, but I won't light them so I'm taking away their power" and they'll stop listening at "I'm buying your cigarettes" because that's all they care about. And it's a shit metaphor in any case: you can walk around a mall with a shotgun and explain to people that because it's unloaded you've taken away its power, but you're still going to get arrested.

So that was annoying, as was Augustus's general air of overly-charming pretentious skeeziness in the beginning. But I forgive him for it, because lest we forget, he is seventeen. If his character was twenty-two he'd be the most obnoxious jackass on the planet, but because he's just a kid, I was willing to forgive him. Still hate the cigarette thing, though.

kids-and-young-adult827 s Emily May2,043 310k

It seems silly that I have to say this, but I've seen many a negative review of this book met with backlash from John's nerdfighter fans, so I want to make one thing clear: I John Green. You'll find plenty who worship him as a god amongst men and many who are highly critical of him, I fall into neither of these categories but I do him and I enjoy watching his videos. I find him funny and I agree with a lot of what he stands for; I also appreciate the amount of charity work he does and the way he helps the "nerds" feel better about themselves and make it out of high school a little less scarred than they might have been. I John Green.

But I do not particularly this book.

There are plenty of people raving about this book on goodreads, on Kirkus, in various magazines and newspapers... so I realise I am in a tiny minority. I will also admit that I might not have felt the same if I hadn't already subjected myself to numerous "cancer books" but, as it is, I do not feel anything that unique or interesting has been brought to the table here. For the first half (approx), despite my lack of enthusiasm, I expected to give it three stars because I didn't consider it to be a bad book and it was well-written enough; however, as the book wore on, I began to realise that I was growing more and more bored and found myself struggling to read on. This was something I hadn't anticipated. I'd prepared myself for many different possibilities: heartbreak, a changed perspective on life and death, disdain, annoyance... but not bored indifference. Hence the lower rating.

One of the first problems I encountered was that the kids were wise beyond their years. And I don't mean intelligent, I mean wise. They came out with things that really only suit people who've been alive a few centuries - Dumbledore or Gandalf - or at the very least people who are sat comfortably in middle age. I that Green doesn't patronise his readers by oversimplifying things or dumbing down characters in a condescending effort to appeal to teenagers, but these characters behave in a way that is unnatural to the point where sometimes it is verging on ridiculous. It's not completely unbelievable that some kids exist who are actually this, but they definitely don't all speak and behave in this way.

The characters are all, in one way or another, John Green. They all have his quirkiness, his sense of humour; I was picturing several John Greens sat around having a conversation while I was reading The Fault in Our Stars. In fact, reading this book was a little bit watching one of Green's vlogs, which might have worked well if JG hadn't dampened the humour with philosophical musings. As it was, I had a book that was trying so very hard to be both funny and sad at the same time and ended up failing to deliver either one as successfully as I would have d. The dialogue felt false and scripted because of the teens' tendency to showcase their depth and intelligence. Natural conversation between anyone of any age doesn't work this and I couldn't shake the feeling that there should be a laughter track playing in the background.

The Fault in Our Stars, in my opinion, would have been far better if Green had stuck to humour Andrews did in Me and Earl and the Dying Girl. I believe that the exaggerated characters and their unrealistic conversations would have been fine in a straight-up humour book because that's not supposed to portray something real and deep and moving. But Green loses it by trying to be philosophical and, in the end, I think he has produced a book that is as melodramatic and message-driven as any other on this issue. And his attempt to balance humour and sadness left me somewhat devoid of emotion throughout and provided fewer laughs than I'd hoped.

Ultimately, I feel that JG sacrificed humour in order to be deep and philosophical - perhaps this book tried to be too many things, perhaps JG tried to be too clever. But Me and Earl and the Dying Girl was a much better book, in my opinion, because it did the whole serious illness + humour thing but didn't over-complicate things by being philosophical. I said near the beginning, perhaps I am just tired of these books and The Fault in Our Stars needs to be appreciated by someone who has not already exhausted themselves on similar efforts.

Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Tumblr2013 contemporary young-adult1,471 s Rhi368 144

I must be clear from the beginning. This is perhaps the most personal review I have written. My choice of stars was difficult for this. I am a self confessed John Green fan, I believe he is amongst the best of, not only YA, but fiction writers out there in general.
This is a beautifully written book. There is very little to complain about in terms of style, plot, character, etc. However I couldn't, in all good conscience, give this any higher because it sits so badly with me. I have let this novel marinate for a couple of days now before writing this, and I just keep coming back to the same issues. Namely:

Was this John Green's story to tell?

It is the human condition to attempt to find hope in hopeless situations. But let me attempt to explain how watching a 17 year old fade away truly feels. Because when the wit and words are stripped away I am not sure John did that.

It is endless. It is an unavoidable and uncontrollable and an all encompassing darkness where no hope or life or explanations exist.

There are absolutely no life lessons to be gained from watching a 17 year old cease to exist. There is no comfort. The lessons that some may claim you can achieve through the darkest night of the soul reveal most of humanity for the selfish, narcissistic beings we are.

I have come to believe there is a special kind of cruelty behind the perfectly cross stitched 'encouragement'. Those things are for the ones left over trying to make sense of the senseless.

Whilst I believe this novel acknowledges that. It tries not to, as the main protagonists claimed theirselves, set the victims of disease up as typical heroic, worldly wise characters, it still reads a novel attempting to bring equilibrium out of disaster. The victims ultimately still are wise beyond their years. This, it seems, is an assumed side effect of a teenager coming to terms with their mortality. They use metaphors and pretentious poetry and a sharp wit and are wholly unbelievable as real life teenagers. They are constructs of an ideal. They are the literary version of Dawson's Creek, using SAT vocabulary and existential navel gazing, whilst simultaneously slamming the typical genre for using its characters to do the same.

Having lived this first hand; once with a brother who ceases to exist at 17 and a second time with a brother who is currently 2 years NEC. I am all too familiar with the need for light hearted humour at what may feel the most inappropriate of times. But what differs from that and attempting to write a disease ridden novel that attempts to make you laugh, is apparently personal experience.

I have the right to sit around a Christmas table laughing somewhat hysterically at nothing. My living brother has the right to crack UNO-ball jokes whenever the opportunity arises. But none of the readers of this novel who have not experienced the kind of loss depicted here have a right to laugh at any of it. You can not claim it as your own unless it is yours, and in my mind that is what humour does. It is not appropriate for me to laugh along with eye jokes and blind jokes, because they are not my jokes. I am merely a voyeur in another persons tragedy, I lay no claim to having the understanding of the experience necessary to allow for laughter.

Again, let me make clear. I can not approach this book outside of my personal experience. Of course in reality I do not believe you have to have experienced everything to laugh at a joke. But in terms of purposefully trying to create humour in a novel that is fundamentally tragic, for an audience that is mostly YA, I struggle with. I struggle with it because the empty platitudes that are trying so hard to be subverted in this novel, are still being created. It is still suggesting there can be lightness and humour within the terminally dark - and it is suggesting it to people who have never experienced the terminally dark.

This read a novel where the author has truly witnessed the emptiness of teenage terminal illness, and thankfully appears to have become more considerate and thoughtful for it. As opposed to erring on the side of platitudes.
But it still read as a novel attempting to explain where the hope in hopeless situations are.

Perhaps because it is too raw a subject for me, or perhaps because the novel really is sentimental and gratuitous (granted in a different way from the norm of this genre) but this is not a book I would recommend.
For sufferers, for family members of sufferers, or for well meaning people seeking to understand the hopelessness of some situations. I would recommend it for none.2-stars 2012 books-that-made-me-cry ...more1,093 s destini239 497


The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars
But in ourselves.

This is the first time I’ve truly been at a loss for words. What am I supposed to say? How can I do this book justice? Maybe tell you all that it was perfect? The best, most heartbreaking, hilarious book that has touched me none other? Sure. I mean, it's been said countless times, in countless , and you know what? They are absolutely, a hundred and fifty percent true.

Hazel's days are numbered thanks to her crap lungs. She was able to buy a few years more, thanks to a miracle, but she isn't fooling herself. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel's story is about to be completely rewritten.


I don't think I've ever cried so much, laughed so much, just over all enjoyed a book as much as I have while reading The Fault in Our Stars. Everything that goes on is serious, heartbreaking and eye opening but John Green does an amazing job at, literally, making you laugh out loud. Even when you're suffering.

Hazel... what a breathe of fresh air her character was. She was real and I loved her no bullshit attitude. She wasn't fooling herself, and John Green didn't make her out to be ecstatic with the world or her situation. She wasn't bitchy or depressing, but it wasn't she was perfectly fine to sit idly and watch the time tick by.

Augustus Waters is my dream guy. , for real. As I wrote on an update: Screw all the Christian Grey’s and the Gideon Cross’, just give be Augustus Waters.
As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.
I fell in love with everything that was… him.
I was completely emotionally invested into the story. It’s not just the main characters that stole my heart, Isaac, the parents, even her damn tank, Phillip, did as well. It was beautiful, it was hilarious, and it was perfect.
"Maybe okay will be our always."
Everybody tells you to have your tissues fully loaded because you’re going to need them, and of course my first thought is suuuureee. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve teared up in plenty of books, but actually cried? Nah. Well, I step down and admit defeat. I freakin’ sobbed my heart out. John Green, you’ve done what only few have been able to do... make me cry.


*A thanks to all the ladies that BR this with me (and the ones who crashed it) I wouldn’t have gone near this one with a ten foot pole without you all ;)favorites657 s Tatiana1,444 11.5k

As seen on The Readventurer


The Fault in Our Stars currently has a rating of 4.74 on Goodreads, almost everyone I know has given it 5 stars, therefore I'm certain no one would want to read my sour musings, except me and maybe a couple of other -minded and unimpressed.

What I'd love to know is this - what makes a writer undertake the topic of cancer? So much has already been written about it, so many Lifetime movies filmed, so many tears shed. It literally has been done to death. What new did John Green have to bring to the cancer table?

The way I see it, nothing. Having your terminally sick characters be ironic about their illnesses and swap cancer jokes isn't groundbreaking.

The Fault in Our Stars isn't a bad book, but it's a standard cancer book, and, sadly, a standard John Green book, with standard John Green humor and standard John Green characters speaking in the very same John Green voice.

You have a witty and intelligent protagonist (this time 2, Hazel and Augustus - a female and male versions of Miles/Quentin/Colin), a funny, slightly pathetic sidekick (Isaac - another version of Hassan/Chip/Marcus), a mysterious, unhinged girl, Gus's dead ex (Alaska/Margo clone), and, of course, the signature ROAD TRIP. I can't help but recognize these people and this plot, I've read all of Green's novels.

I understand why so many readers would have such an emotional response to the book. Nothing will get the ladies crying quicker than a kid dying of cancer. Add in some long farewells, painkillers, eulogies and funerals - you can collect buckets of tears. But, IMO, here Green aims for the most obvious, the most easily accessible emotions, for the most typical "life lessons." And for all Green's attempts to be subversive and to make fun of "cancer cliches" - inspirational quotes, heroic cancer survivors, etc. he ended up writing about exactly the same things.

Frankly, I think The Fault in Our Stars is Green's weakest work to date, weaker even than half-baked Zombicorns. Because this, un his earlier works, feels commercial and intentionally tearjerky and insincere. It will probably sell the most copies. 2012 6 starred-2012 ...more1,462 s April*procrastinator and proud*212



This is me after I finished the book (and whenever I think about it).


*pointless EDIT* Woooah! 1000+ s!? I'm surprised how many people are willing to read my little blurb of nothingness!

*EDIT* In a lot of peoples I keep seeing "they don't talk their age!" or "They make these beautiful long speeches which is something that normal teenagers don't do" and I have to point out that Augustus and Hazel AREN'T normal teenagers. They've had to go through so much more in their lifetime than a lot of teenagers will ever have to, and its aged them. And quite honestly, this book wouldn't be as good if they were "normal" (whatever that means)
*sighs* okay I'm done, proceed with reading. If you want to, I'm just tiny words on a screen. Do whatever you want.


As much of an amazing writer as I want to be.... I'm really not. So I'll just point out the things that made this book amazing. ;)
I knew that I would cry so I really didn't bother swearing not to cry. What I didn't expect is bawling my eyes out. I really didn't. John Green has done an amazing job of making these characters feel so real to me. When they cried, I cried (bawled). When they laughed, I laughed. When they melted, I melted. Their romance was so epic and I know, I KNOW, that this is a book I will read over and over again and cry every single time.

The characters were perfection! Especially Augustus Waters. Not only is his name Augustus (which is epic in itself) He had the guts to go up to Hazel and just straight up ask her to come hang out with him. Nice guys finish last? I think not.

You know this book was so awesmazing that I gave it its own tag. Just look up there and you'll see a little tag that says "the-fault-in-our-stars". It was THAT amazing. Seriously. So amazing that I'm pretty sure it was my first heartbreak... from a book. I really haven't felt that much from a book, much less a person, in a very long time. (I'm kind of a loner and a commitment phob... not a good mix) But my heart didn't just do this 3, it did this » *BOOM!* (didn't have a sign for that)

I wish I could write more about this book, but I just can't explain the amazingness of it with my simple, unworthy words, so I am going to tell you what you NEED to do....
READ IT best-characters best-endings best-male-leads ...more3,429 s Erika113 216



John Green.

John Green.

John Green.

You're not Peter Van Houten, are you?



What have you done to my brain...



and my heart...



I'm not gonna review how exquisite John Green can write, or how he can create characters as special as Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters, or how amazing he can tell a story. Despite the huge number of ratings and the spectacular average rating, this book is not perfect. You might find it unrealistic, because if there are many of us who see the life and its complexity Hazel and Gus do, this world will be such a happy place. So any other book, this one also might be a miss or a hit. If it's a miss, then you can say it's not worth the hype. But if it's a hit, it hits hard.



Everything in this book: the characters, the story, the words, they all have the power to be an inspiration. If you haven't read it, I suggest to take the chance.



best-of-heroes contemporary favorites ...more1,432 s chan ?1,127 54.2k

john green deserves an apology from the not--other-girls vibes of the 2010s

he put his whole greenussy into this. and maybe his authorial voice doesn't totally match up to a 16 year old girl's. maybe the big words were big wordin' a lil too hard. but teens are annoying. they care about philosophy and contemplate death. i was one of em!

i love the discussion of legacy. and grief. and normally i don't fuck with quotable books but the quotes here... go hard.

ily john green. thank you for YOUR legacy.2014 2024 ya-contemporary595 s emma2,019 64.3k

This is the John Green-i-est book of all John Green books, and I hate it and him more than anything.

My sister and I actually have a running joke where we just quote this book back and forth to each other. Although honestly anytime anyone says "It's a metaphor," I immediately say "ya put tha killin' thing between ya teeth but ya don't give it the power to do its killin'!", affecting the mannerisms of a stereotypical paperboy from the 1920s.

It gets a laugh every time. (Or at least a sound of disgust, which is just as satisfying within this context.)

There are just so many laughable quotes. "I fell in love the way you fall asleep: Slowly, then all at once." "Some infinities are bigger than other infinities." "It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you." "Because you are beautiful. I enjoy looking at beautiful people, and I decided a while ago not to deny myself the simpler pleasures of existence." (That one is a good one if you, me, love your friends a lot but are bad at compliments. This will ensure that they know you love them, but also prevent them from ever wanting to talk to you ever again.)

Oh, and: "My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations." (That last one is probably my favorite, because it gets the most horrified reaction from the audience.) And how could I almost forget the classics: "Maybe 'okay' could be our 'always.'" (Also, of course I had to look up those quotes. While I love John Green jokes, my brain is so inherently opposed to him that I cannot memorize his sh*t for the life of me. I still mess up the killing thing between your teeth quote, and I say that one at least weekly.)

Anyway. It's comedy gold because this crap is cringe-worth-i-ly affected and pretentious and unrealistic, but also focuses on basic key words and concepts you can latch onto and bring up in pretty much any given conversation.

What? Yes, all of my friends do hate me. Why do you ask?

I am just about full to bursting and sick to death of John Green's quasi-profound books and boring guys and manic girls and token diverse background characters with one quirk and not much else. I don't know how much more pretentious dialogue and profound ponderings and fake teenage angst I can take.

Perhaps unsurprisingly,t his is not so much of a mini review, but I feel I've had a buildup of John Green-directed anger of late. Don't get me wrong, I'm constantly boiling in it, just due to who I am as a person, but his return to writing and that ugly cover reveal are making me even madder. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, JOHN. IS THIS BECAUSE YOU KNOW I WILL HAVE TO READ YOUR NEW BOOK, SINCE I HAVE LONG JUSTIFIED MY HATRED FOR YOU BY SAYING I'VE READ ALL YOUR SH*T AND DISLIKED IT ALL?

Can you tell that I somewhat irrationally believe he knows that I hate him? I've been so outspoken about it. Granted, over half of that outright opposition took place in my junior year AP World History class, but still. The man could have eyes everywhere.

Why, you may ask, do I continue to scream about him if I'm so scared he and his cringey YouTube videos and rabid fans wi
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