This is one of the most delightful, entertaining novels I've read for quite some time. Spanning from the late Victorian to the end of the Edwardian Era in 1910, this novel is richly populated with a variety of people (mainly the working and monied/aristocratic classes) from whom Louisa Trotter (nee Leyton), proprietress and master chef of the Bentinck Hotel, stands out. By dint of hard work and a stroke of luck, Louisa, a spirited, feisty, and determined Cockney, becomes one of the top chefs in Britain and the owner of a successful hotel catering to the tastes of the politician, prosperous businessman, and gentleman-about-town.

For anyone who loves a well-crafted, well-told novel that brings a smile and a chuckle, this one is perfect. hist-fiction-uk-1900-et-beyond mollie-hardwick zz-out-of-residence3 s Paula Dembeck2,096 17

The story of Louise Trotter, a young Cockney woman from a working class background who rose from scullery maid to become the finest cock in London and Edwardian society’s premiere hostess at the Bentinck Hotel on Duke Street.
Louisa is feisty, independent and sharp tongued.
The story includes her ill-fated affair with The Prince of Wales, an unhappy marriage and struggles with bankruptcy and ill health.
There is a motley crew of characters at the hotel: the oldest servant, a butler named Merrima; the doorman Mr Starr and his dog Fred; the Major, an old war horse who lives in the hotel; Mary the wonderful Welsh servant and Charles Tyrel, Lord Hastlemere who becomes Louisa’s lover and returns from the war a broken and blind man.

Originally watched this drama on Masterpiece Theater and then read this book in two volumes over a weekend.

Great story with well wonderful distinctive characters.
A wonderful read.
1 Kara296 5

A novel based on the TV series "The Duchess of Duke Street". The scriptwriters of the TV shows were: David Butler, John Hawkesworth, Jeremy Paul & Jack Rosenthal.

It takes place at the very end of the Victorian era, into the Edwardian and goes for a few years after into the reign of George V.

The main character is Louisa Trotter, nee Layton. Due to family financial misfortune she had been sent out as a domestic at the age of 12. The story involves her maturing into one of London's most celebrated cooks, and her eventual establishment as a successful hotel proprietor.

The period details are okay and they introduce some famous real life characters. Most notably Bertie, the Prince of Wales. This is a 1970s recreation of the Edwardian era and it bears the marks of it's own time, particularly in the stories and outcomes chosen, but it is an entertaining, if light book. Catsalive2,208 23

Louisa a Trotter is a great character. I am going to have to watch the BBC series again some time.

Edwardian England..... An era of opulence and hypocrisy, where those with money and status enjoy and those without, serve... where pampered aristocrats freely indulge in the most scandalous of pleasures. This is Edward VII's world - frock coats and horse-drawn cabs, secret trysts and tête-à-têtes, luxuriant palms and heavy drapes, coal-fired kitchen ranges and hip baths. A world where one woman, with neither education nor money, but with vision, initiative and beauty, rose to become the owner of a famous exclusive hotel, a celebrated chef, and the confidante of the great. Her name was Louisa Trotter, the Duchess of Duke Street.2008 Deb1,124 21

I don't usually read TV or movie novelizations. But I came upon this when browsing the shelves at my local library and thought - why not? It's been 40 years since I saw the program but I can still visualize parts of it clearly, such as old Merriman (who also played the Duke of Omnium in The Pallisers) Starr and Fred, and the hall porter's chair (wish I had one of those!) The TV series was created by John Hawkesworth, who also gave us Upstairs, Downstairs and DANGER: UXB. Those three series, in my estimation, make him one of the greatest TV producers/directors/writers ever - yes, he was a triple threat! Makes Fellowes look trivial in comparison, right? See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Ha... T.R.Author 5 books30

As much fun as the television series, if not more so! A few typos and inconsistencies in the text (e.g.: in the show, the Louisa character has flaming red hair, whereas in the novel it is once described as dark brown), but I feel that that just gives the book character :) A must-read for fans of The Queen of Cooks! Catherine Yezak41 5

I loved this book. I also enjoyed the tv show. It is nice to see a strong, independent woman be able to support herself in a man's world and know who she is!. She also is proud of who she is and what she became. A great rags to riches story. Danny62

Rather clearly a novelization of a TV series, with all the emphasis on plot that entails. It starts off reasonably well, but it rather quickly gives up on character development in favor of a series of episodic set pieces. Laura6,986 585

The story of Louise Leyton who become famous as a celebrated chef of Edward II, Prince of Wales. Later on, she became the owner of a famous exclusive hotel in Duke Street.bookmooch fiction-20th-century read-2011 Sara8 Read

Love it - have read this book several times Julie472 8

that guy on youtube who said that this is the most disturbing book ever lied to methriller-mystery-suspense-or-horror trigger-warnings-galore141 s12 comments Janie1,133

Blanket of the void, sweet slumber. Take refuge in vacuity while tending to wounds both vital and internal. Drift with the colossus, not yet saying farewell.49 s kelly684 29

"But even with that slumber taking me over, and then taking me under, I knew that leviathan thing slept in this same darkness. Lay with me, too. Resting, biding its time."

Heather Lewis, the author of this book, took her own life after she wrote these words. "Notice" was published posthumously in 2004, two years after her death. It was published by a small press and as of 2015, this book out of print and damn near impossible to get in the city of Charlotte, North Carolina. I finally did an interlibrary loan and waited for 4 weeks, and lo and behold, it arrived.

Now that I'm done: Jesus Christ.

This book is, unequivocally, one of the most disturbing novels I have ever read. The main character is a young woman who is a sex worker, casually taking money for loveless encounters with strangers. She eventually gets involved with a sadist and his wife--and what ensues is one of the most violently bizarre S&M relationships I've read about in recent literature. She eventually leaves this relationship and goes to therapy, which leads her into a relationship with her therapist and another bizarre, S&M- sexual relationship ensues.

This book is in first person, and narrated with a cold, emotionally detached tone to match. The amount of sexual violence was so extreme and frequent here that I wanted to stop reading it, but SOMETHING continued to compel me to go back. Not because I wanted to hear about how the main character gets used and abused, but because you want to know what drives her, what's inside her head. She never tells us. This is a story that you want to become easy reading, for things to become less complicated...until you realize that your comfort level was never the point. It's human brutality laid bare in its purest form, and Heather Lewis wants us to notice. This is not just a book, this is her catharsis.

It is not often when I give such a brutal book such high praise, but if you can find it and stomach it, I DO recommend reading it. I DON'T recommend it if you are triggered by violence, however, because this book will fuck your head up.

Tell your librarian that I sent you. (*wink*)2015 fiction lgbtq34 s CriminOllyAuthor 39 books1,258

I think this is the bleakest, most disturbing and horrifying book I have ever read. It’s riveting and insightful on the impacts of abuse, but so raw and distressing I’m not sure o could recommend it to anyone. 34 s Sara9 4

This is the most disturbing book I have ever read. the car-wreck thing, but amplified incredibly. And yet, un books American Psycho which I eventually stopped reading because the sexual violence was so gratuitous and gory, there's something emotionally compelling, even more disturbing than the surface horror, that kept me reading.fiction32 s Paul Bryant2,293 10.8k

HOW I GOT HERE

A curious and kind of heartwarming story – now and then I watch the videos of a booktuber named Criminolly and at some point he got dragged into reading The Most Disturbing Books Ever. He would do a video about one of these every now and then. The titles were suggested to him by his booktube and friends, and you can imagine they were mostly the usual suspects. One must-read on this list was Notice by Heather Lewis. He discovered it was out of print & shelled out for a second hand copy. Then he read it and was mightily impressed and contacted Serpent’s Tail, the original publishers, asking why they’d let it go out of print. Lots of back and forth later, and lo! Because of his enthusiasm and encouragement they republished Notice in February this year.

How nice – it’s finding out that us book fans actually count for something! Power to the people!

THE MOST DISTURBING BOOKS

Olly read Cows by Matthew Stokoe and quite rightly called it The Least Disturbing Book Ever – that was great (I agree). Anyway, after all this extreme reading he nominated Notice as The Most Disturbing – much worse than American Psycho, The Wasp Factory, We Need to Talk About Kevin, etc etc. (BTW Lolita was on the list, quite rightly.) So naturally my curiosity was somewhat piqued.

Why do we read disturbing books anyway? Same reason as we watch horror films. Which is? Well, sometimes I think it’s just a macho thing – do you dare to watch The Human Centipede Full Sequence? (Answer : no!!!) – do you dare to ride the great big scary rollercoaster? (Answer – no!!!!)

I’ve read a bundle of these Disturbing Books and there’s another bundle I would never ever read – 120 Days of Sodom by de Sade, Hogg by Samuel Delaney, anything by Peter Sotos, My Absolute Darling….

CONNECTIONS

Heather Lewis writes somewhat Dennis Cooper and Mary Gaitskell, the subject matter is ghastly, awful, horrendous, but it’s recounted in a lacksadaisical, lacklustre, affectless zoned-out style, quite appropriate for the first person narration, because this first person is severely traumatised and gets retraumatised at least twice.

And Notice can be filed next to some other narratives of female self-immolation, Story of O and The Piano Teacher. It’s in that unhappy orbit.

WAS IT ANY GOOD

Well it was strange – nothing the vortex of horror I was expecting. This is the story of a self-destructive woman who drifts in and out of prostitution and runs into a couple of horribly sadistic clients; but mainly it’s the story of her lesbian relationships with two women, and these take up the great majority of the book, and are written about very tenderly, but also in a blank ghastly can’t-escape-from-my-own-head kind of way. The language is distant, desiccated, debilitated, and frankly very wearing :

I glanced at Beth because I hadn’t been keeping an eye on her and had just now noticed it. She was looking right at me. This put me further off base because until then I thought maybe she hadn’t been paying attention. Realizing she was confused me all the more because I’d been both wanting her to and not. Or I’d been wanting her to but at the same time was afraid of it.

There are pages of this kind of mad waffley sub-psychobabble. It was Henry James if Henry James was a 14 year old girl strung out on quaaludes.

As I say, an appropriate voice for the character, but for me a turgid not great read, sorry to say.novels32 s11 comments Bill KupersmithAuthor 1 book225

Besides House Rules, Heather Lewis left behind two more novels; no horses, but in House Rules very violent sexual episodes and a lot of drugs. Both offer as principal characters a wealthy couple who are addicted to sexually abusing teen-aged prostitutes. The Second Suspect is an apparent police procedural investigating the death of one of these girls. The other novel, Notice - published only after the author’s suicide - is a 1st person account by a teenaged prostitute who specializes in servicing businessmen commuters @ a suburban railway station car park. The two books are obviously closely related & artistically it makes sense to connect them.

Heather Lewis was Allan Gurganus’s creative writing student @ Sarah Lawrence. That of course was also Lucy Grealy’s alma mater @ about the same time, but I’d imagine they would have hated each other cordially. But they seem so similar, except that Grealy was outwardly maimed & Lewis wore her scars on the inside. Both died @ about the same time. It’s not clear that Grealy’s death was deliberate, as if the death of a heroin user were ever anything else. Lewis hanged herself with the sash of her dressing gown. (Gurganus calls it a “silk bathrobe” but in my idiom if it’s silk, it’s a dressing gown.) According to Gurganus’s afterword, “Notice had been adjudged too dark & disturbing in its bleak sexual frontally [sic] to prove in any way commercial.” Both House Rules & Second Suspect were edited by Nan Talese. Tho’ I’ve now tried to reform & read books for pleasure only, I still know how to do literary analysis & divined what happened as that Talese got Lewis to rework the entire concept and turn it into a mystery story with a police detective Caroline Reese as the central character & the narrator of Notice morphed into a subsidiary personage. (I am grateful to Robert Nedelkoff for confirming & providing some corroborating sources for my conjecture.) The girl in Notice never tells us her name but in Second Suspect she calls herself Lyn Carver, probably an alias, but it is the name I shall use also for the narrator in Notice. In both books the wife in the sadistic couple in named Ingrid, & she calls the teenager prostitute they abuse Nina, the name of their daughter, killed by her father either purposely or from erotic strangulation that got a bit out of hand. He is nameless in Notice but in Second Suspect is called Gabriel Santerre, & is the head of a pharmaceutical empire. His favorite kink is binding women’s necks & wrists with his own belt, then penetrating them anally, tho’ he prefers to ejaculate on their face & breasts. When he wants to put the frighteners on them afterwards, whether to insure their silence or just out of sheer sadistic nastiness, he employs a couple of hench-persons who to cut. In Notice a character carries a piece of Lyn’s flesh (probably from her labia) in a vial on a chain round his neck; in Second Suspect it’s worn by Gabriel.

Notice offers us very little background detail. The narrator is a teenaged girl working as a waitress, but also as a lot lizard on the parking lot of a suburban railway station, servicing commuters in their cars. As her parents are wealthy, absent abroad & give her the run of their house & liquor cabinet, she seems to work @ the waitressing & sex trades only for independence & excitement. She agrees to go with one of her customers to his nearby mansion to play kinky games with him & his wife Ingrid. Next day he leaves her & Ingrid alone together & they form a relationship. Ingrid gives her several hundred dollars (later quite a lot more) & she leaves before Gabriel comes back. Later she goes back to working the station car park, where she is arrested by a couple of undercover vice cops who rape her & take her to jail. Apparently they were dispatched by Gabriel to teach her a lesson. Afterwards she is sent to what is supposed to be a rehab center where she is placed in “seclusion” (i.e. solitary confinement) till she is rescued by a therapist named Beth, whose husband is someone in the DA’s office. After she is released, she has relationships with both Ingrid & Beth, characterized by a pattern of extremely violent & aggressive sexual episodes followed by scenes of tender & caring lovemaking. So she alternates between top & bottom, aggressor, victim, lover & beloved, tho’ she never uses the word love; love’s a total non-starter, persona non grata for her. Notice ends after Burt & Jeremy, who’d 1st seemed generous suppliers of free drugs but prove to be Gabriel’s minions, abuse Lyn horribly, but leave her still unwilling to kill herself out of despair.

Second Suspect apparently takes place later. Gabriel & Ingrid are in a hotel room in New York with a dead teenaged girl prostitute whom Gabriel attempts to smuggle out in a golf bag, but unexpectedly Ingrid calls the cops. Gabriel, possessed of considerable political clout & a sleazy fix-it lawyer, attempts to cast the blame on his wife. Caroline, a police detective under a bit of an institutional cloud (her former partner had got a little too heavily into the drugs they were investigating & she had to kill him in self-defense), gets her lawyer BF to represent Ingrid & attempts to find out what really happened, which leads to the discovery of a number of teenaged prostitutes living in apartments owned in Ingrid’s name, as well as a girl now retired (@ about 20 too old to appeal to Gabriel & Ingrid’s sexual tastes in daughter surrogates) calling herself Lyn Carver, now living in a big house in Westchester County apparently subsidized by Gabriel with the understanding she will remain silent about her previous association with that couple. I read Second Suspect 1st, but just as soon as I began Notice it was obvious the narrator was her model, but now she’s recycled & a few years older.

Artistically I have no doubt that Nan Talese’s judgement stank & that Notice is the better book & that the voice of the Lyn character in Notice is far & away more vivid & affecting than the 3rd person POV mostly from the police perspective in Second Suspect. But I honor & respect Talese. She had a job to do, publishing houses are in business to make money not to foster literary art, & an editor has to be decisive. Also, the ending to Second Suspect, when Lyn puts herself into the hands of Gabriel, would have made the superb finish that Notice fails quite to achieve. She goes in not quite totally intrepid & clean. She’s carrying a lethal dose of heroin in a bag tucked under the top of her stocking - with a sadist who loves to cut, a girl had better have a plan B.

But the end turned out perfect. As an editor sometime myself, I’d love to have had the chance to try to help Heather Lewis knock these two into one terrifically moving novel. As it is, Notice lacks the beauty of House Rules; there is no possible equivalent for the erotics & grace of equestrian competition when the main character is a teen hooker. But Lee in House Rules, however much pain Lyn endures in Notice, she never loses our admiration & respect. Always ready to plunge in, headlong, fearless, with no safe-words, working without a net. That's why I find these characters, & the story of Heather Lewis herself, so attractive & affecting. In Notice, Lyn describes a force within herself that she calls “the Leviathan” that impels her recklessly into extreme situations. She denies it is a “death wish” but I think I know what it is. To gaze unflinchingly into the abyss is the object of mystical spirituality. The drugs & violent sexuality are signs that the author & her characters wandered off the path, but they had the right intention.5-stars-in-201622 s Kim BookJunkie ~ Editor & Proofreader2,019 56

Bizarre and strange stories are typically right up my alley, however NOTICE was not just bizarre and strange, it was terrible. Don’t let the cover or the blurb for you! This is not a dark story, it’s not a story at all! It’s pages and pages and pages of inner musings that make absolutely no sense.

Initially, the realistic nature of the main character’s first person perspective/voice was refreshing, however ONLY she knew exactly what she was thinking, making things cryptic and confusing the majority of the time. Things are vague and mysterious, usually without rhyme or reason. With prostitution, dubious consent, abuse, mental hospitals and drug abuse, many of the scenes were dark, intriguing, sexy, and straight up bizarre in a good way. However, often things were bizarre in ways that were more confusing than entertaining. So much of what happens happens repeatedly, and other times there are huge gaps in the storyline. She never described her to us, and I don’t think the author even told us what the main character’s name was! Aside from the poor editing, this book is also in need of being proofread. For example, the word FOREVER repeatedly spelled as 2 separate words. I considered quitting NOTICE many, many times yet kept reading, expecting it all to make sense in the end. It never did!!!!! There truly is no plot or moral to the story!!!! save yourself from wasting the time I did and do not read this book!!!!
_e-book dark-hopefully-dark drugs-alcohol-use-addiction-dealing ...more16 s Plagued by Visions204 660

I burned through this in one sitting.

I don’t know if anything momentous or impactful was said beyond the same monotone level of constant self-destruction, but the way it was said was gnarled and bleak and deeply angry, and that leaves quite a mark, too.15 s Kat78 13

One star because "I didn't it." I have a certain respect for it, but as I told the professor who assigned it: I think it was an act of violence for her to force me to read this book. Spending hours immersed in an endless stream of rape triggers is not my favorite type of homework, though I guess there's something to be said for a school experience that is so intimate.

That said, I might reread it someday. Lewis was undeniably a skillful writer; it has to be hard to write a book with at least one rape scene in every chapter and have the overall effect be that the writing is restrained. There is an almost unbearable (maybe I don't mean that "almost") between the bleeding-all-over-the-page-ness of the content and the clean, emotionally empty quality of the prose. If I don't misremember, a fair amount of the content is autobiographical; either way, Lewis clearly wrote this as catharsis. That it is so pained and excessive without sucking is impressive to me.14 s Aly Lauck57 10

Let me preface by saying this book is jarring, but if you don’t know the story of Heather Lewis and her artistry and her sad demise, I’d recommend reading about it. This book is art and you have to be open to reading it to appreciate the artistry that goes with it. I won’t give any spoilers, but feel strongly that anyone with a history of being triggered by SA not read this. 11 s Grace McGuire16 351

DNF’d at 100 pages…the writing style is AWFUL. It’s hard to make sense of anything, the flow is non existent and words seem to be missing. I have no issue with the content or the triggers but Jesus Christ the writing style killed my soul!! I couldn’t carry on no matter how hard I tried.

Also…how many cigarettes can this girl smoke!! dnf-d7 s Ghoul Von Horror911 306

TW: Cheating, gaslighting, toxic relationships, abusive relationship, rape, incest, alcoholism, drinking, drugs, graphic sex scenes, language, smoking, sexual abuse

*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:As a young adult, she started to turn tricks in the parking lot of the local bar. Not because she needed the money, but because the money made explicit what sex had always been for her, a loveless transaction.A sadist takes her home to replay family dramas with his beautiful wife, and she becomes hopelessly drawn into their dangerous web, and eventually, ends up in more trouble than she ever bargained for. Arrested and confined to a psych ward, a therapist is assigned to help her. But instead of treatment, they develop a sexual relationship, bringing her both confusion and revelation.
Release Date: August 1st, 2004
Genre: Extreme Horror
Pages: 212
Rating: ?

What I d:
1. Nothing - at - all

What I Didn't :
1. The writing style is horrible
2. Confusing descriptions
3. Boring
4. 54 uses of cigarette

Overall Thoughts:
Honestly how can a book that is about something so shocking be so boring? Everything dragged on and on.

Omg the writing style was absolutely horrorific. It was so choppy. Words were missing out if sentances.

As the story slowly and I mean slowly progresses we find that out the main character doesn't want to leave this house. I can't tell you why either because it's so confusing on the events of what happens. She says she stays to get paid but then it seems she's only there to have sex with the wife. The wife decides to leave but doesn't take the girl. I have zero idea why she left her behind - I guess she found her replacement. The girl goes home but the man knew where she lived since he dropped her off once there. Dumb move. He has her arrested I am assuming since it's said that he knows people. It's implied that he abused his daughter too to the point of death and the police took care of it all. She goes through the world's fastest trial and is put in a mental institution on the believe that is a danger to herself. This is what is confusing to me. Her family says nothing and we never even hear about them being there for her. They clearly care about her as she does live with them but nothing on their end.

From here on out I just didn't care what happened to her. She's a boring character. Her only character trait is that she moves money sleeping with people. I don't even know who she is as a person outside of that.

Final Thoughts:
I got 100 pages in before I quit. It's just not good.

IG | Blog 1-star-hated-it books-i-hated dnf ...more7 s1 comment Heather V ~The Other Heather~463 44

I'll write a review once this has settled into my brain a bit better...but for now, while I praise its audacity, I have to say that the book reads a 200 page long suicide note, which, sadly, is exactly what it is. Not for the squeamish or easily triggered. More when I can collect my thoughts.dark-and-darker disturbing-books-reading-list proceed-with-caution6 s Ieva Andriuskeviciene233 120

Vadinama viena labiausiai vis? laik? šokiruojan?i? knyg?. Išleista kaip trilogijos paskutin? dalis po autor?s savižudyb?s, 10 mwt? po jos parašymo.

Atmesta vis? leidykl? kaip per žiauri ir per arti realyb?s nes autor? visuose interviu atvirai pasakojo apie prievart? patirt? iš jos t?vo. Ji per tikra, per skaudi, per sud?tinga. Labai gaila, kad Lewis taip ir nesulauk? knygis išleidimo. V?l prad?jo gerti ir pasirinko savo gyvenimo pabaig? b?dama 40ies

Nors 3 knygos tiesiogiai nesusietos, bet galima suprasti, kad tai tas pats personažas skirtinguose gyvenimo etapuose. Pirmoje dalyje pagrindinis paaugl?, po žiauraus t?vo smurto ir incesto kovojanti žirg? lenktyn?se
Antroji parašyta iš jaunos policinink?s perspektyvos kuri siekia surasti serijin? sadist? ir tirianti nužudytos prostitut?s byl?.

Ši dalis, iš vienos iš sadisto auk? perspektyvos. Kad tai tur?jo b?ri trilogija sužinojau tik perskai?ius knyg?, b?tinai skaitysiu visas.

Ji vadina save Nina ir tikrojo vardo mes nesužinom. Kaip metafora, kad tikrosios jos mes niekada ir nepažinom ir nepažinsim.
Ji eina ? gatv? ir ima atsitiktinius klientus ne tod?l, kad neturi kitos išeities. Ji turi darb? po kurio važiuoja prie stoties. Tiesiog. Nes lyg nuobodu, o gal tiesiog kitaip ji nemoka? Darbas gatv?je atrodo patrauklesn? perspektyva nei gr?žimas ? t?v? namus. Kas ten vyko ar vyksta, šitoje knygoje nesužinosim
Vienas klientas, išvaizdus ir pasiturintis vyras parsiveža j? namo kaip tre?i? žaidim? partner? su žmona Ingrid. ?ia užsimezga keistas trikampis kur labai smulkiai aprašomas sadistinis seksas. Sužalojimai, žeminimai. Ninos niekas nelaiko šitame name ir šituose santykiuose. Pati Nina lyg bando ieškoti priežas?i? paislikti nes išeiti ji tiesiog negali.
Ji apsigyvena dukros kambaryje (kas atsitiko dukrai sužinosim v?liau, ?ia gal labiausiai šokiruojanti dalis?). Labai puikiai atskleista, kad didžiausias m kal?jimas yra m?s? galvoje, ne išor?je
Persp?ju, kad knyga yra LGBT, nesu niekur skai?iusi daugiau sekso tarp dviej? moter?. Kartais gal per daug, kartais gal ir nereikalingo. Autor? buvo aktyvi LGBT nar? ir atvirai apie tai kalb?jo b?dama gyva
Ninai iš?jus ir kas gal?t? b?ti happyendas, viskas tik prasideda. Ji užmezga labai keistus santykius su savo psichologe, ?ia v?l bus daug sekso. Nors n?ra žiaurimo, bet istorija tiesiog kartojasi
Ji vis tiek eina ? gatv? nes tiesiog kitaip nesugeba. Negali susitaikyti su savimi? Nesijau?ia verta b?ti ne žemininama? Ar tikroji tamsa galvoje atrodo ne tokia tamsi jei fizinis k?nas patiria didesnes kan?ias?

Apie galutinius skyrius net nekalb?siu nes ten net man buvo per žiauru. Kerštas, prievarta ir Ninos tarsi atsiskyrimas nuo savo k?no

Knyga trikdanti, reikia tarpuose ?kv?pti, bet ne paviršutiniška. Tikrai giliai kapsto autor?, kurios tikras gyvenimas baisesnis už knygas. Gal tod?l viskas taip taiklu?

Ar rekomenduoju? Ne, tikrai ne! Nebent esat tokie kaip aš, ir niekas j?s? nestebina, ieškot aštri? poj??i?. Knygos ieškojau pirkti labai seniai, bet UK j? perleido tik dabar, 20 met? nuo pirmojo leidimo! Skai?iau kindle6 s6 comments Ellie2 2

This is the worst book I have ever read. I wish I could take back reading it. Things have not been the same since. worst-book-ever5 s KillerBunny221 108

3.25 stars.
My hopes were too high...
Overall, not much is happening.4 s2 comments Livvi 233 1 follower

Okay so this book was not disturbing. Honestly yes there was a lot of disturbing stuff that happens being raped and sodomized with a gun and having them pull the trigger in some kind of body cavity roulette and having them cut a piece of skin off her vagina and later finding out he made it into a necklace yeah okay that’s pretty bad BUT it was literally all of 3 pages in the 280 page book. The rest was this boring story about a prostitute that is having a hard time realizing she’s a lesbian and the story is literally just her living her life and falling in love but mostly just having sex with random women. there wasn’t near enough sex or violence to carry this book and above all this bitch just does NOT learn her lesson. She stays living in the same house as she was beaten, raped, and cut up in and by the way she doesn’t even go to the hospital for any of this and instead she goes right back to doing what she’s doing and even runs into the guy that is literally wearing her skin around his neck and was “Im going to pretend I wouldn’t of said yes if he had asked me to go with him” what the actual fuck is wrong with you? It’s not even this book is painted as someone who’s self destructive and sadomasochistic who wants to be hurt badly for sexual pleasure or just in general. This book is just bad, it’s boring and makes no fucking sense. I can see how people reading this randomly would be scared for but it’s really just bland. 4 s Jessica595 115

This was a tough, bleak read. And I usually love bleak books. But this is another level of horror. I'm not sure I've read anything more vicious to its main character. It's a hard book to get into; the tone and rhythm of the writing is great but difficult to discern at first how much you should be paying attention. For how short it is, there's a lot to unpack. I respect this book, and I think it's good, but I'm so glad it's over.2016 emily-books kindle-reads4 s Nora115 7

The idea is a disturbing one with so much potential, but the execution was very faulty to me. The writing style, character connection, and pacing all bothered me and made for a very chaotic read, if it was written differently the same story would have been much more compelling. 4 s Diane 227 5

This was not a disturbing book at all...I found it confusing,stupid and childishly written.4 s Bella Moses45 6

Heather Lewis’s voice is really above and beyond…feels so intimate it’s dangerous. I have no idea what everyone saying the narrator is “emotionally detached” is talking about. Just because Melissa Febos said it doesn’t make it true folks. It felt the narrator was inside my skull. Dissociation is certainly a theme but in my opinion the incredible force of this novel comes from the way the narrator unrelentingly describes all of her emotions in so much detail it almost made me sick. I love you Heather. Rest easy. 3 s João Pedro94 Read

I’m currently in a bit of a reading slump so I decided to pick something different from what I usually read, and after watching a video about the most disturbing book ever, I discovered Notice.
This book is really disturbing, it deals with mental health, sexual assault,domestic violence, professional boundaries, sex workers and a whole lot of other things. Which for a book this short is kind off impressive. Whilst I couldn’t quite connect on a personal level with some of the things going on in this book I feel the author really has an ability to show the deeper sentiment behind the situation, giving me one of my favorite takeaways from reading, empathy. The book is not perfect of course, I feel that sometimes it fails at conveying the deeper emotions with words, but it compensates that lack of clearness by showing how raw the emotions feel by action.
I really can’t give a rating, this book is not the most disturbing I’ve read, I think that title still belongs to Lolita.3 s Keith [on semi hiatus]152 48

I found that the story, consistently, and from fairly early on, established 'Nina' as turning tricks for the sake of her desire to fill a void.

It jumped in-between her seeking out her car-park antics for this reason, through to continuing with these acts without reasoning with herself for doing so via a feeling of obligation, through to doing it for the cash, back to doing it to fill the "leviathan" of a void.

Whether it's from first-hand experience (there's elements of the story that suggest this judging from Alan Garganus' postscript) or first-hand imagination, it takes a toll on the soul carrying content this around for the length of time it takes to write such a story.

There's a lot of abuse in this story; it's heartbreaking to read through without thoroughly concerning myself over why someone can let so much of themselves be taken away and continue to voluntarily let this happen over and over again.

There are relationships for 'Nina' that are formed both with men and women; those with men are exactly what you'd expect - they're there with her for the sex - and it's brutal, abusive. With the women, the psychological strain of someone elses problems are thrown onto her, but it's this that 'Nina' has the most problems in willingly dealing with, avoiding these situations where possible.

Even the local Police are abusive with their power to the extent of leaving 'Nina' in a state of what should be desperation for her personal wellbeing, but somehow, she's got a reserve of capability for handling these scenarios; it's this, or plainly, her sexual experiences, accepts what deems to be, in her eyes, her fate.

It's in this state that she finds somebody that genuinely cares for her wellbeing where in herself she finds it absent, or withdrawn for whatever past reason.

This person is sacrificial of her own life's harmony, but upon helping 'Nina' through care and love, faces anger and frustration.

A tension ensues between the parties involved, a series of psychological games are played throughout, and this person of whom has been sacrificing so much ends up facing her own set of problems as repercussions from her actions of caring and loving so much of 'Nina', all the while 'Nina' acts in her same voluntary way.

A climactic moment occurs where 'Nina' faces - what I would deem - genital mutilation... a pinnacle moment which should be a forward, long-deserved, change of heart and thought/way of thinking and living, but in her usual self-sacrificial ways, she falls again into the trap of giving those around her what they want and taking/keeping nothing of her own to herself.

It's a superbly written, inspiring, open-hearted, gruesome, erotic, piece of work; and, having read the postscript, I feel saddened about the hurt that was experienced in Heather Lewis' life, and will at some point in my lifetime, definitely be reading other works she had written.1 Rachel M372 13

This book has been described as one of the most disturbing books to be written. I would have to disagree on that one. Now don’t get me wrong there are some disturbing and horrific parts in it, but mostly I found this one provocative and sad. My star rating jumped around a lot on this one, some points we were at 5 then some we were at 2 and in the end I settled on 4. I couldn’t quite justify a 5 but in the end I can’t give it less than a 4 as I couldn’t put it down, even in the 2 star thoughts I had to know what happened and what was happening. This one is a sad, tragic story of abuse, addiction and not really knowing your place in society. Just because I didn’t find it one of the most disturbing books, doesn’t mean you won’t. Please check your triggers as I did agree there are disturbing and horrific parts in this one. 4 s7 comments Danielle271 11

This has got to be the worst book ever. Just awful. This style of writing is not my favorite (I prefer more dialogue), and the subject matter was just terrible. Am I to understand that some guy cut off a piece of her labia (?!?!) and carries it around in a necklace?

I felt awful after reading this book. I did skip around quite a bit, and I was still able to read enough to make me feel disgusted. I had to read a Debbie Macomber novel just to be able to eat dinner.

0/10 do not recommend. Seriously, don't read this book. If this book was in my library, I'd weed it immediately and throw it in the trash.contemporary3 s Ellis21 2

The most painful book I have ever read. I literally yelled at it, threw it on the ground, and then rushed back to compulsively reading it. gender literature queer3 s Ashley533 16

"While it's true I needed the money that's not all I needed from it. I don't care what anybody says. I understand the reason for telling people that, people outside it. But the thing is, I could never really see anyone as outside it. What the extra need is, the thing besides money? I've never pinned it down. I know it's there, though."

Heather Lewis' Notice has had me thinking for a while, mostly about its agonizing content, but, also about how we use and understand the word disturbing. A lot of the time, disturbing is used in place of disgusting, scary, perhaps even shocking. And, yes, at times, it would be fair to call Notice all of these things - but it's not an extreme splatterpunk body horror gore-fest, it's not a horror novel at all, yet, it does horrify. It's disturbing in its quietness, however, in how real and raw it all is, in how it reads as if it's a non-fiction account of an incredibly distressing life. It's disturbing in how the heart of the author seems to seep out of the words on the pages. Notice is an exorcism of the soul.

This is without a doubt one of the bleakest, most horrifying works of fiction out there. At every turn it's just an obliterating experience, and, in its sheer artistry and audacity, it's rather brave. Notice reads much a very long suicide note, it's an extremely painful reading experience. Upon starting this novel, it takes a while to even realize it's fiction, what is clear from the get-go however, is that Heather Lewis understands, with a burning clarity, what she's writing about. This book is a void, an exploration of exploitation and abuse, and the desperate desire to be needed. What a superbly written, gruesome, harrowing, erotically artful and yet horrible experience this was. Notice achieves what every good piece of fiction should - it leaves us with plenty to ponder.

"I carried that deadness to bed with me. And I carried with it a knowledge I'd had all along. That I should've died that night - it'd been the best chance I'd had so far. And that I hadn't? Hadn't taken it? It wasn't the relief or comfort I believed it ought to be. It was only a postponement of some kind. A cruel kind of cheat, pressing me to decide it myself."

This book is pure art. It's a book that demands attention and care while reading in order to be fully appreciated. One has to fully immerse themselves into the pitch-black world of Notice in order to not miss its subtlety. There's a lot this book has to say, a lot that the author has to say, and this makes it an important yet difficult read. Across the 200 or so pages that Notice spans there exists an excruciatingly detailed account of the horror that is humanity. It's a book of many things, a horrific noir, a dark romance novel of submission, a dive into the minds of powerful men that abuse women, a slow paced psychological thriller, the list truly is endless.

It's also fantastic. It's timeless and ageless and without a doubt one of the most quietly disturbing novels to exist. Background detail is nonexistent in this novel, instead, we're thrust into the heartbreaking abuse from the start. There's an enormous amount of pain etched between each and every word of this obscure little novel. It really is a book that deserves much more love and attention.

"She'd gone out of her head, but I was still in mine and registering everything going on - in my head and my body and the place in between them. That place being nearest my chest, where I wanted to feel deadness or at least hatred but instead could only feel loved."books-that-gave-me-depression its-so-gay2 s Maddy203 131

So that's how it's done.2020 highly-desired2 s Cleo123 1 follower

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