My first story by this author.

Character, Chloe Bevan, opens the story wandering around Melbourne looking for 'the Instagram photo group she was looking for'. Spots a crowd. Wanders over. Checks out the lead woman of the group.

Chloe herself is from Brisbane. Which I make note of because, of all the Australian set stories I've read, the vast majority seem to be set in either some random small town in the outback or in Melbourne ( this story here). I'm not sure I've even read a story with someone from Brisbane before.

And . . . Chloe sure is taking a huge number of 'looks' of this lead woman. Evie. Sister of Jeanie - Chloe's roommate.

And so . . . the group gets some instructions (or the reader is told they were at some point) and breaks apart. Chloe wanders off with Evie - still constantly and openly eyeballing Evie. They head to a back alley and . . . look at wall art. Well, graffiti.

Okay - this is kind of confusing me. So Chloe is very much a non-touchy-feely type of person. So how'd she even allow herself to let the other person touch her hands, let alone hold it, then begin rubbing her thumb against her. Sure she apparently s it but, you have to get to that point. My skin is crawling at the mere idea. Someone just grabbing hold and gripping your hand? And rubbing thumb against your skin? Yeah, my skin is crawling. eww.

'Evie smirked at her . . .' Save me from people who smirk (actually, save me from people using the word. Nails on chalkboard time. First touching, now smirking. I'm quite uncomfortable with this story).

'Evie smirked.' Evie, do you, I'm just asking really, have any facial expressions other than 'smirking'? 'Evie bit her lip and narrowed her eyes.' Ah, good, thanks.

Good grief Evie is touchy feely to the extreme. Extreme! I should stop attempting to read stories after midnight. I get goofy.

I do not really Evie.

'Evie grabbed her arm . . .' 'Evie smirked' . . . ' 'Evie . . .' s an annoying character and I think I dis her.

Wait, what? 'Chloe smiled and thought of the way the sun had enhanced the colours . . . [s]miling suddenly, Chloe fet a burst of happiness.' So Chloe's facial expression went from smiling to . . . smiling suddenly?

hehehe - um, there's this massive wall of text now. For whatever reason there are no breaks. And I've been reading. There should be breaks. But instead this massive wall of text.

I'm . . I'm . . what? 'Chloe ... unable to withhold her smile . . . Chloe said, smiling as she squeezed Evie's hand in response' - 1) all of that is in same little few seconds, not lifted from here and there. I'm not even sure how to interpret all that smiling; 2) response to what?

And now I do not particularly Chloe. So 2 for 2.

"Oh," Evie said as the only phone Chloe took came onscreen. - I do not know what this means. Chloe stole a phone?

'Evie's smirk at Chloe didn't help.' - pfft. more smirking.

'The woman was smirking [Evie] at her in the reflection.' - I just made a loud noise of disgust. Surprised me, that did. The noise. The level of the noise. Brought on when I read the line above. And the smirking. I rather dis the smug smirking Evie.

I . . . heh. Apparently Evie has 'liquid fire' pouring out of her panties. Liquid fire. hmms.

hehehehe - they are rolling around, mention of Evie's head bumping against a door, more rolling, Chloe bumping a swollen clit. Me giggling insanely as I accidentally read that wrong. I read it as rolling around, and Chloe accidentally rolling against a swollen clit which was about the same size as Evie's head. Goofy, I am.

I really have no idea what occured in that love scene. Body parts were flying around everywhere. Smooth muscles, and mouths, and necks, and fingers, a back, and some arms, and a pelvis.

Oh for . . . in the middle of mentioning lots and lots of body parts . . . don't include this line 'Evie asked, making Chloe cock her head with curiosity ...'. Now Chloe has a cock. Because. That's where my brain went. When, you know, the word 'cock' gets used in the middle of a sex scene.

Good god this is a really awkward conversation during/after/wherever they are in the act of sex. Also, Evie's apparently, we now learn, not a lesbian.

Very long sex scene. Awkward sex.

And why does every sex scene (okay, not really but still) have 'so beautiful' repeated every three seconds during the act? mmphs. (part of that 'not really' is the part wherein it only occurred a few times here).

Oh good grief. More smirking by Evie. AAAAAAAAAARGH.

Awkward uncomfortable story.

Rating: 2

December 14 201602-stars kindle-unlimited length-00-99-short-fiction ...more13 s Joc762 183

Fun and sweet. Nice in-between-novels short story.artist-musician coming-out explicit-content ...more2 s Jamie (TheRebelliousReader)4,382 31

2 stars. I didn't the writing. It was off putting and I had a hard time caring about anything that was going on. Luckily it's short. That's all I got.2-stars 2023 adult ...more lov2laf714 1,074

3.8 stars.

This is a cute and somewhat erotic short story.

Chloe is in Melbourne to deposit the ashes of a dear friend of hers. That's not the most erotic background to set a love story to but her roommate back in Brisbane has told her to stop by and see her sister, Evie, while she's in town. Upon meeting, Chloe is immediately attracted and an amusing flirtation ensues that blossoms into a love story.

Camryn Eyde's other short stories, there is some humor present along with an elicit sex scene. Eyde does both of these well and is really good at depicting natural interactions.

Good read.0-50-pages erotica kindle-unlimited ...more Margaret349 56

Short stories are always going to struggle to get above a 3 star from me - there's just not enough time for amazing enough things to happen to make it a 5 star must read.

For what it is though, this is a well done short story. A little instabig, a lotta lust, some pretty well written pwoar scenes. Well worth the $1 for a quality train readl-words Tara783 359

Autor del comentario:
=================================