In The Absence Of Light de Adrienne Wilder

de Adrienne Wilder - Género: English
libro gratis In The Absence Of Light


For years Grant Kessler has smuggled goods from one end of the world to the next. When business turns in a direction Grant isn’t willing to follow he decides to retire and by all appearances he settles down in a nowhere town called Durstrand. But his real plan is to wait a few years and let the FBI lose interest, then move on to the distant coastal life he’s always dreamed of.
Severely autistic, Morgan cannot look people in the eye, tell left from right, and has uncontrolled tics. Yet he’s beaten every obstacle life has thrown his way. And when Grant Kessler moves into town Morgan isn’t a bit shy in letting the man know how much he wants him.
While the attraction is mutual, Grant pushes Morgan away. Like the rest of the world he can’t see past Morgan’s odd behaviors
Then Morgan shows Grant how light lets you see but it also leaves you blind. And once Grant opens his eyes, he loses his heart to the beautiful enigma of a man who changes the course of his life....M.F

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5 abundant stars. Full review posted April 6, 2015

My second five-star rating of the year goes to In The Absence of Light by Adrienne Wilder. Readers who know me are aware that this means something.

Even days after I finished this story, I'm still reeling in the aftermath of one of the best reading experiences I've had this year. One word that would sum this book up is… awesome. In The Absence of Light wrecked me but only in the most positive way. I can't remember the last time a story made me tear up so many times. I don't know but I was crying for no apparent reason. Or, let me rephrase that. I was crying over tad writing. It hurt my fucking heart. Wilder's voice and writing are terribly beautiful. There's a little something about it that cut through my heart and made me bleed repeatedly. I'm usually not fond of plenty of narrative but I gotta tip my hat. The narrative in this book is excellent and powerful. It really gave the storyline a compelling forward momentum. Besides, the author has a wonderful talent of making a flawed, not law-abiding character very lovable and encouraged me to believe in redemption for Grant. However, her greatest gift is to evoke a huge amount of emotion from me.

In The Absence of Light is the kind of book I inhale and devour in a heartbeat. I'm so bloody grateful for this outstanding read because I was standing too many times in the absence of light in terms of the quality of books I had to struggle through this year. When the intervals between memorable books are stretching to the point where you feel it's going to be unbearable, you start to scrutinize yourself. Though I think my expectations aren't too high. I just prefer to make a clean break. I think that these days a huge majority of romance books are no more than average or even ridiculously bad and I categorically refuse to hand out a five-star rating to something that is poorly written and can hardly interest me anymore. I said it before and I will say it again. An author has to earn a five-star rating from me and by earning I mean writing an extraordinary book. Adrienne Wilder has done that and managed to captivate me from start to finish. So, that means I owe her a big shout out and a very warm thank-you for having written such a beautiful story that featured two complex and unforgettable characters. In case you think I'm coming off as too vague? I bloody loved it. Very much so.

I have no experience with people on the autism spectrum. But that term "autism spectrum" must be there for a reason. Not everyone who is autistic is afflicted the same way by this disability. Some seem to live a rather "normal" life (what is normal anyway?) and others need a lot of assistance to keep some kind of independence and some aren't able to live on their own at all. Long story short, I don't know how realistic Morgan's portrayal is but you know what? I don't really care because I fell hard for him. I love him the way he is, inside and outside, from the top of his curly, long-ish, blond hair to the tips of his toes. And while his autism was a part of him, it wasn't really front and center. There's so much more to Morgan than his "disability" because his quirky character, his sense of humor and his "flexibility" *cough* but also his artistic talent rendered him unforgettable. Hence, Grant and Morgan formed a wonderful couple and they easily secured themselves a place on my shelf of memorable heroes.

I did enjoy Grant's character growth very much. He really did redeem himself and while the middle part of the story seemed to be a bit too sex-laden for my tastes (yes, it was incredibly hawt, I'll give them that), everything panned out just fine for me when the mystery part played an entertaining role during the final third of the plot. I felt the FBI subplot was enjoyable because it added a nice layer of tension and forced the pace of the plot. By the way, I'd love to read Jeff's story, possibly in the near future.

Minor quibble
The book could have benefitted from better editing/proofreading.

Bottom line, In The Absence of Light has it all: beautiful and thoughtful writing, a riveting storyline, terrific dialogue, more than a pinch of humor, very lovable characters I wouldn't mind meeting in real life who also had interesting background stories, steamy smexy times (that "flexible" blow job was something else *fans self*), artsy references, a great small town setting including a few worthwhile secondary characters and last but not least, a touch of suspense and action.

I'd to conclude my review with a love letter I wrote on behalf of Grant.

Dear Morgan,

I came to a quiet small town to lay low for a while
Leave my problems behind until
I was ready to take the next step and
Let the sun kiss my cheek on
The sandy beach in a faraway land
Then we ran into each other, literally
I tried to fend off my attraction for you
But it was pointless because, ultimately,
I needed you almost more than you needed me
Touching you meant you connected me to the world
And tasting you meant you
Breathed life into my lungs
You showed me that you were perfect and
For some reason you found me
Worthy of your perfection

I learned what it meant to stand
In the absence of light because
You saw things for me I couldn't see
You blinded my perception of what is normal
I felt ashamed and guilty for being ignorant and scared
And even if I'll never be able to grasp the concept of
Light speaking to you, I can't stop looking at you
Admiring you for what and who you are

Even if I'll never understand what you see, hear or feel
When you are 'gone', hovering in that secret place of yours
I want to dance my fingers in the fragments of light
Together, with you
I want to watch you listening to the light all day long
Study your hands forming and caressing whatever
Material you're working on and
Coaxing sounds out of droplets of colored glass

I thought I knew what love was only to realize
Standing in front of you, I knew nothing

I love you, Morgan Kade

Because you are perfect and beautiful the way you are
You may be autistic, but you are a normal man
With a mental condition
Not a mental condition who is a man

And while the rest of the world isn't ready for them

I am more than ready for you
You are my abundance of light

In case you're still having doubts…don't. Read it--rather sooner than later.

Highly recommended.best-sex-scenes bliss books-kelly-and-baba-d-or-loved ...more204 s ☆ Todd1,389 1,536

** REREAD Oct. 2020 **

ME: I'll just quickly skim through the first book for a refresher, then start the new one, "By the Light of Dawn (In the Absence of Light #2)".

ALSO ME: Why am I NOT SKIPPING ANY PAGES at all? OMG, this has turned into an all-out reread -- which I quite literally NEVER EVER EVER EVER DO!!!


This story was truly an unexpected pleasure.

The romance and feels between 36 y.o. Grant and 24 y.o. Morgan were pretty on point. And the parts in the story showing Morgan that Grant *truly* saw the real person that he was, underneath his tics and often-odd behavior, were just so sweet and touching.

There was also plenty of humor, with autistic Morgan mentally besting 'better' men at several turns. God, the toothpicks and 'statue of liberty' bits had me rolling.

I kept thinking, "Oh goodie (rubs-hands-together), here it comes again. Is this person going to fall for Morgan's latest trick?," which was so much fun.

But Grant tended to give as well as Morgan, so they felt well-balanced, evenly-matched in all aspects of their relationship. two pieces of a puzzle, they just locked and that was that, no need for discussion. It just was.

The FBI and past smuggling parts of the story did help keep things lively, but if I'm being 100% honest, I could have done without most of those 'intrigue' parts of the book. Even when I was a little kid, I never had much interest in playing cops and robbers. It was just never my thing, so reading it (many) years later, is usually either a 'meh' or a 'nah' for me.

The sexy bits were pretty smoking and they began early on in the story, so if that's your thing, this story should make you pretty happy.

The one thing that I really wanted answered in significantly more detail was, "What *exactly* does 'the light' say to Morgan? What can he 'hear'?" Yes, he seems especially perceptive, but is it more than that? Toward the end of the story, it seems that he may actually possess some sort of clairvoyant ability. Or something. I just really wanted to know more there.

While reading the story and posting comments, I had several Goodreads friends mentioning that they were being tempted to re-read the story again. And after finishing the story, I can now see why. The book was truly a treat and I'd rate it a solid 4.5 stars.


** This story is a *FREE* read with Kindle Unlimited membership.favorites kindle-unlimited mine200 s Val ⚓️ Shameless Handmaiden ⚓️1,934 33k

5 A Dog Isn't a Hobby Stars

So, not gonna lie, I tend to be somewhat cold and heartless when it comes to life books.

So typically, when I read a book that it supposed to make me this:

I have come to expect I will end up being more this:

I have just accepted the fact that my manufacturer forgot to install my sensitivity chip.

Oh well.

So it is with great pleasure that I get to say that this book had me all this for once:


What a beautiful story.

Grant was a really interesting character. Painted as a sort of "moral criminal," watching his personal evolution as the story progressed was a really cool journey to witness.

And Morgan?

I. Loved. Him.

"Morgan's just any other guy his age. He just sees the world a little bit differently. Maybe he even see things we'll never have the pleasure of experiencing."

Watching Morgan and Grant interact and come together was really beautiful.

In fact, I just thought the story as a whole was beautiful.

It had so many elements I love:

- Slow building, realistic love
- Quirky, fleshed out main characters
- Tangible side characters that added to the story without overwhelming it
- A GREAT setting that almost acts as its own character
- Great writing

My only complaint was...certain word usages.

Well, just two actually...

Examples included.

1) The Word "Bark"

"I barked out a cry, and right at the edge of release, Morgan stopped."

"I barked out a cry, and he drank it from my lips..."

"Morgan barked out in pleasure again and again."

"I barked out in surprise, but it quickly turned into an agonizing groan."

Now, call me crazy, but when I read the word "bark" - in sex scenes - it took me right from this...


To this:


2) The Word "Squelch"

I feel I don't even need to explain this one, but I will let some more quotes speak for themselves...

"The squelch of lubricant let me know exactly what he did."

"It added to the obscene squelch of my fingers moving in and out of his body."

"His entire body shuddered, and more pre-cum bled from his slit until the foreskin squelched

First thought?


Second thought?

With all the barking and the squelching (for realz though I wanna wash my hands even typing that ), all it makes me think of...


Other than that, great book.

I will definitely look forward to more from this author.
5-stars mm-or-lbgtq quirky-character179 s ~✡~Dαni(ela) ♥ ♂♂ love & semi-colons~✡~3,146 729


So many amazing review of this book have already been posted. I spent a good while reading all of them. I'm torn, you see.

Because as much as I loved the connection between Morgan and Grant, I thought the many sub-plots dragged the book down a bit.

I loved Morgan and Grant, but the FBI plot was distracting and tedious.

We had the drama regarding Grant and Jeff's former relationship; the mystery that was Grant's shipping business; the FBI good guys; the FBI BAD guys; Morgan's psychopathic ex (the final resolution really came out of left field); Morgan's mysterious bank account; all THIS and small-town bullying and homophobia.

It was too much, and it smothered a beautiful story about two broken men coming together in love and passion.

The sex scenes in this book were some of the best I've ever read: SENSUAL, erotic, insanely sexy, at once tender and dirty. PERFECTION.

I loved Morgan's brilliance, his fierce independence, his snarky sense of humor. And I loved Grant, who in some ways needed Morgan far more than Morgan needed him.

I also enjoyed the small-town gossip, the (*ahem*) ACTION at the drive-in theater, Jessie the barman, and Jenny who did her best by Morgan.

I wanted more quiet times between Grant and Morgan, a deeper exploration of their relationship.

Some of the conversations Grant had with his lawyer or Jeff dragged on for pages. Far too much page time was given to Jeff in general. His numerous visits were boring and unnecessary. I was over Jeff. (I would still read his story, though, cause that's just the way I roll.)

Also, I have to mention that there are numerous typos and misplaced modifiers in this book. Tighter editing would have gone a long way toward making a very good story even better.

Despite my niggles, I recommend this book. In the Absence of Light is absolutely worth reading. There is a great deal of angst, but there is RADIANCE too.

"There will never be anyone you, Morgan ... Never, not in a million years or a million lifetimes, will there be anyone else who has what I want."

age-gap angst-central comfort-healing ...more116 s Gigi2,155 1,033

This book taught me a very valuable lesson: When EVERYONE and their uncle tells you to "READ THIS FUCKING BOOK," you do it. Put down everything else and read. Because, honestly? If I'd have read this book in the middle of 2015, my top 10 list for 2015 would have been different.

I'm not quite sure what I can say about In the Absence of Light that hasn't already been said. I loved how fiercely Grant loved Morgan. I loved Morgan's dry humor and how he saw the world. I loved the raunchy, dirty, frantic sex. I loved the roller-coaster-ride mystery of Grant's involvement with the FBI and his relationship with chameleon Jeff. I loved the busybody townspeople. I loved how Adrienne Wilder wrapped everything up at the end and gave everyone a ridiculously mushy HEA.

the fragments of light he chased, he mapped my features with his touch.

“There will never be anyone you, Morgan.”

He closed his eyes for a moment.

“Never, not in a million years or a million lifetimes, will there be anyone else who has what I want.”

This is one of the most powerful, beautiful books I have ever read. A must-read. I can't recommend it highly enough.
absolute-favorites friend-recommendation fuck-yeah-5-plus-stars ...more96 s Wendys Wycked Words1,581 3,907

Oh my God...this book...almost killed me. I loved it so freaking much. One page I was crying and the next I was laughing my ass off. It was incredible. Morgan was awesome !! He was such an amazing character. Now Morgan and Grant together...HAWT as Hell !!!

Damn...it was good. It made me feel so much. I made me happy..sad..anxious and it made me

I should not have read this book at my parent's house though;)

I could have done without the whole FBI stuff...but it was nice to have some suspense in there as well. I know some people who are autistic...but not with the tics. I had so much respect for Morgan. He is one of the best characters I've read about and this book is definitely one of the greatest books I've read ever !!abuse-neglect angsty badass-hero ...more87 s Jewel1,856 271

Reread since book 2 will be out in a few weeks! My original review stands. Such a beautiful story.

Original review - Jan 2017
4.5 Stars

“The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That’s why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me.”

Wow. I bought In the Absence of Light back in April 2015, but managed to not read it before now. I know, insane, right? I recall the being stellar, and there was just something about the cover that drew me in. The colors, the composition, the reflections - it's a gorgeous cover - and now that I've read the book, the cover has taken on even more meaning. The story inside In the Absence of Light is even more beautiful than even the cover indicates. I definitely need to check out Adrienne Wilder's other books!

In the Absence of Light is an amazing piece of gorgeous storytelling. With misunderstood, and slightly dented, heroes, and a single-minded determination to just be who they are, even in a small town, the MC's both just stole my heart.

Grant Kessler moved to Durstrand to bide his time until he can risk accessing his offshore bank accounts and leave the country. He hasn't exactly lived his life in an honest way, but he does have a moral code. Between being hounded by the FBI, including one former undercover agent whom Grant fell for, and because the rules of were changing in a way that he couldn't reconcile with his conscience, Grant got tired of the game and decided to stop playing. Durstrand is a small, middle of nowhere town, which is just the change of pace Grant needs after living in Chicago for half his life. And it is in local bar call Toolies that Grant first lays eyes on Morgan.

Everyone underestimates Morgan Kade because of his autism. They assume he is mentally a child or incapable of taking care of himself and he cleverly shows them all just how wrong they are. Grant was no different in those assumptions than anyone else, at first, but he learns, mostly because Morgan can be uniquely manipulative when he wants to make a point. At 24 years old, Morgan isn't a child and he won't tolerate being treated one. He also isn't afraid to go after what he wants and he isn't afraid to assert himself. In fact, there is only one thing Morgan has any real fear of, and unfortunately he has to face that fear in this story. Heartbreaking.

Grant is worldly and yeah he's done many illegal things, some of which he isn't exactly proud of, but he's not nearly the asshole he pretends to be. He has trust issues, though, and with good reason. His father threw him out when he was 15, because of the gay, and after that, his role models weren't much better. At first Grant feels guilty for being attracted to Morgan, because all he really sees are Morgan's tics. It takes a very perceptive Morgan and some darkness to really show Grant who Morgan really is. And I've gotta say, that was really kind of brilliant of Morgan.

I loved In the Absence of Light so much. Morgan is misunderstood and Grant's trust is a bit dented and together they just fit. Their smexytimes are smokin' hot, too; not only is Morgan super toppy (even when he bottoms) he is also bendy - impressively so. Yum.

What took me so long to read this book?! I am happy to have remedied that oversight.

Highly recommended.favorite-mm favorites four-point-five-stars ...more78 s ♥Sharon♥979 142

I'd give this one 10 stars if I could. ❤

I’ve been thinking a lot about this book, about Morgan, about Grant, about their love. Their story has invaded my thoughts allowing me to linger with them just a little bit more because I didn’t want their story to end. My greedy side would have loved just a few more pages, a few more moments but the last chapter was just as wonderful as the first so I am a happy girl.

It only took one review for me to one click In The Absence of Light. It is such a beautiful one too. And once I started the book I quickly realized that it would be a book that would be something special. And it was. But it was more than just special. It was remarkable.

Morgan ~ he is at the heart of this book. He is a beautiful man. An autistic man. He is different. He is also charming, funny, vulnerable, passionate, sexy and (it is worth repeating) beautiful.

“I can give you what I have, but I can never give you everything.”

Grant ~ This guy surprised me a little. My heart was so wrapped up with Morgan that it took me a little longer to see his beauty too. Even with the uncertainty he felt when it came to Morgan you could also sense his resolve.

“Because you’re perfect and for some reason you find me worthy of your perfection. Because you’re a gift and I will not let you forget that.”

From the blurb you know that Morgan is autistic. This story brings you into his world. You learn of all the challenges Morgan has been faced with in the past and the challenges he faces each day. And when Grant enters his world we find out that there is so much more to this man than what everyone thinks they see.

Grant and Morgan’s relationship begins when Grant steps in to protect Morgan from some ignorant men. He had no clue who Morgan was and that he was very capable of taking care of himself but he finds himself drawn to Morgan. Little by little Grants sees the color in Morgan’s life and wonders if HE would ever be the man that Morgan deserved.

It was a slow progression with Morgan and Grant’s relationship. I loved watching Morgan reveal little pieces of himself to Grant. He was such a sweet man. He was also funny too. I loved it when he left Grant standing there befuddled.

But when a part of Grant’s life bleeds into his relationship with Morgan everything begins to unravel. He is paralyzed when he sees the pain this causes the man he loves. He can’t lose him and his love is about to be tested.

This was such an amazing book. It is definitely one of my favorites so far this year. I loved the originality of the story line and the emotions that it made me feel. And if you are wondering, the sex was HOT and I loved that too.

I'm not sure my review did this book justice. I didn't want to give away too much but I hope I have given you enough to want to read this book. If it isn't already on your TBR you MUST add it. And if you do have it on your list don't wait too long to read it. ❤
73 s Emma Sea2,203 1,142

The pov is quite shallow first person, and then there's the odd line where I can see Wilder is trying to reach for something heartbreaking and magical, but for me every line is missing its mark. I'm aware of the construction, rather than it going straight through to the gap in my soul

Also, you know what? The first third really irritated me. It was playing Dungeons & Dragons where you literally go to the tavern to get backstory and rumours that may help you on your quest. So Grant meets Morgan, and then speaks to a variety of down-home compassionate folk at the hardware store, mechanic, and, yes, tavern, who fill him in on Morgan's sad, sad life. And tell him it's okdiddlyday to fuck Morgan. This whole section seemed so clumsy and forced. Artificial. Too much exposition in a series of clumps.

I skimmed from 35% onward, but this was just not my book.

I think the timing is off, for me.71 s Mo1,382 2

I must admit about 30% in this book and I said to myself, "Shite, Sharon is going to hate me for not loving it as much as she did." Thanks Sharon for the recommendation and the gift. Headed off to a concert last night. Got back around midnight and started reading again. Stayed up until 3.30 reading it.... started loving it. Finished it this afternoon and I absolutely loved it, maybe not the beginning but the second half of the book just got to me.

For years Grant Kessler has smuggled goods from one end of the world to the next. When business turns in a direction Grant isn’t willing to follow he decides to retire and by all appearances he settles down in a nowhere town called Durstrand. But his real plan is to wait a few years and let the FBI lose interest, then move on to the distant coastal life he’s always dreamed of.

Morgan. Yep, I fell a little bit in love with you every step of the book. I do thank God for my healthy, "normal" children. But tell me something? What the hell is "normal"? Who's to say my life wouldn't be tenfold better if I did have a child with special needs? I haven't had any experience with people with autism ... My husband has. He works in a school that has a Special Needs department and he says the kids with autism are great. They are smart, loving, giving.

Grant is older than Morgan. There is an attraction but Grant wants to fight it because he sees that Morgan is not "normal"! But Morgan teaches him a thing or two. God, Morgan was wonderful. Truly he was. He did not let his disabilities 'disable' him. He had a job, he lived alone.

It was only a tear, but it might as well have been a river ...

Some reviewers gave lower ratings as they were not happy with the subplot going on. Grant's FBI "friends", that background story. For me, that upped the rating of the book. I usually love a bit of mystery and suspense in books so this whole backdrop of Grant's previous life was great.

Jeff. God, I fucking hated you for most of the book ... but ...

"The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us."

Such wisdom.

Dressed in ragged jeans and a t-shirt he resembled one of those barely legal models for those high-end clothing stores ...

And in all my years, I'd never kissed anyone I did him. I never wanted to. But Morgan wasn't just anyone ...


I will end my review by stating that I am a proud Irishwomn as our country, our Catholic country, at that, voted in a referendum to approve changing the Constitution to extend civil marriage rights to same-sex couples. Unfortunately the small village where I grew up voted "No". It's no wonder I left there over 25 years ago. "Small town minds" - yes they still exist.

66 s Vivian2,876 464

Short version:

The truth lies in what you are not seeing.

An unexpected adventure in a sleepy Southern town where a man on the run finds more than a place to lie low. He finds a reason to lay down roots. A place where an autistic power bottom, happy cows, and symphonies in light all make perfect sense.

This is fast paced, charming, emotional, SEXY-- Wow!, and entertaining. It makes you believe in happy endings after long trials. A hard won HEA is always sweeter, and this is sweeter than sweet tea.

Long version:

The truth lies in what you are not seeing.

Morgan, brilliance trapped in a form that can't always do what he wants. Frustration, aggravation, underestimated, belittled, mocked, and determined. He won't be pitied. He lives how he wants. many who are trapped in the liminal spaces of society, he sees things others don't.

Grant is lying low biding his time. Exchanging an ever-increasing lethal past for a future. Future dreams that he is waiting to collect. Well, the future is much different than he expected, but more than he ever dreamed.

Then there's the town of Durstrand and all it's inhabitants. They are a colorful crew that provide the depth and walls for Morgan and Grant to bounce off of. That and the past that's followed Grant makes for a fast paced read as trouble comes south.

I loved Morgan. His fortitude is amazing and he's got a wicked sense of humor. He's so smart that he runs circles around folks. He's beautiful and he's damaged--BUT, that doesn't make him imperfect. And it certainly doesn't make him unworthy.

Morgan is self sufficient, and aggressive when he needs or wants to be. Frankly, autistic power bottom is not a phrase I thought I'd be comfortable using, but nonetheless, it's true here. Morgan is damn sexy. I'm not the only one who thinks so, he's got a whole fan club.

Part of me is always hesitant of marginalized main characters because I'm worried that an author is using it to sensationalize the story. Wilder has written several books that have marginalized characters and each has been treated as a whole person, not a subset of symptoms. And in this case, worry would have been for naught. Morgan is autistic. Granted, he is high functioning and social in most instances. But, Morgan himself is more important than the label autistic. He is so much more.

The title is clever, a play on both Morgan and his art. Morgan sees light in ways most don't; he doesn't just break it down into waves of color, but how those waves move. The song they play is just for him. I don't think anyone is completely suppose to understand his art, it is a conversation he alone has with it. An intriguing interaction that is a vital component of who he is.

This is an emotional book that plays with trust and how fragile it is. How fragile we are when it is broken. Trust is what’s hard. Broken hearts can be fixed. Broken trust?” His touch followed a tear down my cheek to my lips. “Trust doesn’t heal."
There are quiet moments of epiphany for both Grant and Morgan. They give each other something neither has ever had. Simply, it is a beautiful romance.

Overall, a Southern suspense that has heart and humor.

Favorite quote Your battle is over. Live your life, be happy, love deeply.

fr romance-contemp75 s *J* Too Many Books Too Little Time1,921 3,710

4.5 Stars!

I had a lot! A lot of sad, some mad, some awww moments, I even laughed a few times.

This was a really captivating story. Definitely more on the emotional side.

I fell in love with Morgan from the first page. His character was so inspiring. He was so misunderstood. The battles he fought and overcome. His strength. His beauty.

"He just sees the world a little bit differently. Maybe he even sees things we'll never have the pleasure of experiencing."
Grant is new town. He does what most do and makes assumptions about Morgan. He's blind to all that is Morgan. But it doesn't take him long to see how special Morgan is.
"The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality it blinds. That's why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me."
I loved how Morgan was always quick to put Grant in his place.

He didn't want pity. He just wanted to be.

I loved the slow development of Morgan and Grant's relationship. It definitely wasn't always an easy road. Grant never had plans to stay in town long. But plans change. Wants change. Feelings change. Needs change.

Morgan was the home that Grant never knew he was looking for.

"...he'd always held me and I just didn't know it. seeing the light in a way I couldn't, he'd seen a love that hadn't happened yet, but knew it would." male-action63 s Snjez858 750

My third time reading this story, and I think I enjoyed it the most this time around.

Morgan is still amazing and I love his relationship with Grant. It's beautiful. And Grant is all kinds of perfect.

The only thing I never cared much about is the FBI subplot. Though I have to say that Jeff started growing on me.
0-re-reads mm62 s Judith724 2,840


I don't even know where to start in trying to put into words how outstanding this book is.It has totally captivated my attention over the last few days.

"The light is a funny thing ,Grant.We think it shows us what we need to see,but in reality,it blinds us .That's why I brought you here.I wanted you to see me"-Morgan

Morgan is a 24 year Autistic man

Grant is 36 and has escaped to Durstrand leaving behind a dubious past and an ex lover...a FBI Agent

There is a FBI sub plot going on but the main focus of the story is the relationship between Morgan and Grant.And what a story it is...just beautiful.
Morgan,well I can't begin to describe how much I loved him.He's beautiful,witty,misunderstood and fiercely independent.Grant tries so hard with him...makes mistakes along the way but ultimately comes through.


The writing is beautiful, from all the quirky characters and the setting...I have never been able to picture so clearly a place where a story takes place.

I love M/M books but have never read such erotic sex scenes as the ones here.

A good friend of mine has an Autistic son the same age as my 15yr old daughter..in fact that's how we met..we both went through pregnancy together,gave birth within a few months of each other and our children played together and attended play school together.When they reached School age their lives took a different path.It's tantamount to my daughter's character that they have stayed in touch,although I know it's hard for both of them.
I thought the Author gave a very accurate portrayal of Morgan's Autisim and especially the character of Lori and the struggles she must have faced bringing up Morgan.

This is truly an outstanding book that will stay with me for a long time


"58 s Barbara➰1,626 423

Reread January 2018

I am still at a loss for the right words for this book. It touched me on so many levels. Told entirely from Grant's POV, I love seeing him grow in his understanding of Morgan as a person and not a condition. He’s still perfectly imperfect. He makes mistakes. But they need each other and complete each other. The people in the town really stood out to me this time too. They’re funny and supportive.

It’s just a bloody brilliant book and I have highlighted the shit out of it.

Originally read October 2016

**5++ Colored Glass Stars**

Honestly, this has to be one of the hardest I’ve ever had to write. There is absolutely no way I can do this book justice. I could add gifs and all kinds of hot pics but I don’t think I’d ever touch the essence of this book.

I think I had every emotion there is while reading. It was just absolutely beautiful. The romance between Grant and Morgan was beyond anything I could have imagined. There was suspense and humor. I loved the people all around town.

But to me, the true heart of the book was where it shows how important it is to “see” a person….not just in the light, what we see on the outside. But to truly see what’s inside. Grant did this with Morgan. He saw him deep down.
"Morgan may be autistic, but he is a normal man with a mental condition, not a mental condition who is a man.” ~Grant
“I think for the first time I understood why some people got hooked on drugs after just one use. ‘Cause I was hooked on Morgan.” ~Grant
“He didn’t resist when I molded my body to his and wrapped him in my arms. The heat of his flesh, the curve of his muscles, the strength in his body, nothing had ever felt so perfect in my life.” ~Grant
But not only that, Morgan got Grant. He knew what Grant needed. He was such a strong and amazing character.

I highlighted the hell out of this book. I don’t think I’ve ever highlighted so many quotes and passages in a book. The words themselves to me, were beautiful.
“No way to put into words how he made me feel. How touching him connected me to the world. How tasting him breathed life into my lungs. How I hadn’t been alive until the moment I saw him and even then I’d resisted, afraid of what I’d felt, fighting what I feared. How I thought I knew what love was only to realize, standing in front of him, I knew nothing.”~Grant
One thing I loved was that Grant made mistakes. He tried to change his way of thinking about Morgan and his autism but deep down, he still had those imbedded beliefs. I know that sounds weird because we all want a hero that will swoop in and just make everything better…we want him to be perfect. But to me, it made me appreciate him more. It made him “real”….not some perfect character that no one can relate to.
"I’d been so close to being those dance instructors who threw away a once in a lifetime chance. But instead of leaving me to the mercy of the light, Morgan had led me into the darkness, where it had no more power over me. How did you replay that kind of gift? How did you repent for being unable to see it? I didn’t know, but I wanted to try." ~Grant
And Morgan, I wish we could all “see” things sometimes….see the beauty in the ugly…see past what is right in front of our faces and see what’s in our hearts.
“The light is a funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That’s why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me.” ~Morgan
Just amazing...age-gap book-boyfriend contemporary ...more58 s * Meli Mel *856 675

♥♥♥ 5 STARS ♥♥♥

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"Morgan's just any other guy his age. He just sees the world a little bit differently. Maybe he even see things we'll never have the pleasure of experiencing."

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This book had been recommended to me many times by many people on goodreads. I've had this one for a while and never seemed to get to it. Now, I regret not reading it sooner because I LOVED it!

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"The light is funny thing, Grant. We think it shows us what we need to see, but in reality, it blinds us. That's why I brought you here. I wanted you to see me."

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Grant Kessler is a thirty-six year old man wanting to have a fresh start in the small town of Durstand. Grant's past isn't completely clean, if you look closer, and that is what the FBI seems to want to do. He isn't a bad person, he may not show it often or even know about it, but he actually has a loving heart. This is why he chose to settle in that town for a little while until he could finally retire in peace at a ocean view location.

In this town, is where Grant meets twenty-four year old Morgan Kade, an autistic young man working as a bus boy at the local bar. Grant sees him being bullied by a patron and ready to go to his defense. Grant has preconceived notions of what Morgan is capable and not capable of doing. He doesn't understand that Morgan is able to make his own decisions, any other person. That he is a grown man and not child. That he is smart, artistic, quite funny, and has beaten the odds. He doesn't see any of that, he just knows what he sees on the outside.

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'The beauty I'd thought I'd known was nothing compared to the glimpse he gifted to me in that moment. His vulnerability, his capacity to love, his willingness to trust. Morgan not only showed me those things, he pulled me in, wrapped me up, and whispered the secrets of his world in my ear.'

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Morgan is very much able to take care of himself. He lives alone, has a job, creates works of art, and dances. He's fought hard to have control of his life. He is such a strong young man that I quickly fell for him. I loved his mischievous sense of humour. That whole "bullshitomometer" and the toothpicks scenes had me grinning so big. I hurt so much for him because of how some people treated him. I hated that people judged him by what they saw on the outside when he was such a beautiful and amazing person on the inside. I loved that Morgan could stand up for himself when he needed to. I d that he was independent, hardworking, and that he didn't let people's mean words get to him. I just plainly loved him.

Grant may have entered this town with a bit of a narrow mind, but it was so beautiful seeing Morgan change that in him. Grant doesn't know what to do when Morgan very blatantly comes on to him. Morgan knows what he wants, and goes after it. Grant, however, feels horrible for feeling attracted to him because he thinks he would be taking advantage of him. He doesn't even think Morgan knows what sexuality is or can decide if he's gay or not. Morgan ends up winning Grant over with his cleverness and his wonderful way of seeing things. Grant becomes addicted and inevitably falls for him. I became so captivated reading how Morgan and Grant's relationship grew. It was so incredibly stunning and it made my heart melt completely. It may have taken me a while, but by the end, I loved Grant as well, because of they way that he loved Morgan so wholeheartedly.

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"I told you, you were mine. All mine, Morgan. Perfect. Beautiful."

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This story was utterly beautiful. I will admit that the whole FBI storyline, I wasn't too keen on, but it was still a bit enjoyable. I was grateful that it didn't take over the entire book, nor did it overshadow the romantic storyline between Grant and Morgan. I definitely loved the writing, the flow, and the pace of the story. I loved the main characters and many of the secondary ones, too. I loved the nosy and quirky townspeople that made this book that more amusing. I laughed, I hurt, I loved, and I teared up. I thoroughly enjoyed it all. Even the steam in this book was awesome and very smoking hot. The ending was the best. I was almost sad to see their story end because I loved them so much. Overall, it was a really great read and one I would definitely recommend you give a read.

drama-rama-bo-bama fav-book-boyfriend favorites ...more57 s JAN1,185 905

1st read 2015 5 stars.
2nd read 2020.

**** 4.5 Stars ****

It didn't have the same impact as when I first read it.
But it's still a really good read.

Unique plot.
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